盛女，就是水魚 (iQuest 2012年4月25日)
潘麗瓊 (專欄作家)
(http://iquest.hk/Common/Reader/News/ShowNews.jsp?Nid=3573&Pid=10&Version=0&Cid=117&Charset=big5_hkscs)
《盛女愛作戰》每集都會湧現一堆不明來歷的專家，例如一個叫「性天奴」的，化妝比女人更濃、身邊還有一對像門神般的助手，軍訓似的為盛女「洗腦」：「男人是狩獵的動物，你不能太主動。」「和男士傾偈要四十五度角，不能直視，否則失去矜持。」「傳短訊你永遠不能是最後一個。」其他導師也有一連串似是而非的「擒男必勝技」，譬如女人不可駁嘴、不可太獨立……一群盛女也信服男尊女卑的理論，嘲笑返工時要智商一百四十，回家智商急降到四十扮低能。這可是真的？
細心檢閱優質男人的老婆是何模樣，便知真相。克林頓太太是強悍智慧型的希拉莉；奧巴馬越級挑戰他當見習生時的上司兼哈佛師姐米歇爾；梁振英則戀上師妹兼讀法律的唐青儀，港、英雙隔、天天寫信等她。你猜這些女人是否靠扮低能弱智、或整容瘦面取悅男人？聰明男人怎會要蠢貨？他只會看上令自己欣賞、有獨立思想的女性。
至於那班嘲笑港男的盛女，只肯把情場失意歸咎於自己太叻，不肯作真誠的賽後檢討。可憐！
真是朋友的話，會順着每人性格，發掘並強化她的優點，改善她的缺點，令她更有自信，而不是打沉她，或令她死守一大堆生硬戒條，或迫使她穿上不是她喜歡的衣服，令她渾身不自在。
性格是沉積岩，豈能扭轉過來？騙到對方一次，第二次也會露出馬腳。何不找一個懂得欣賞自己的人？接納自己，也包容別人，就是最舒服的相處之道，但那些導師，只會當盛女是水魚，局你做療程或整牙之類。怎會真誠幫你？
盛女的剩餘價值 (iQuest 2012年4月25日)
婉婷 (幼兒教育工作者)
(http://iquest.hk/Common/Reader/News/ShowNews.jsp?Nid=3572&Pid=10&Version=0&Cid=117&Charset=big5_hkscs)
因為一齣的電視節目，「盛女」成為了香港社會上的熱話。
相信大家都知道這個名詞的意思，我也不在這裡作分享，但「盛女」的價值和表現除了是大家茶餘飯後的話題及笑柄，又或是成了網路「起底」的目標外，她所在的價值是甚麼呢?
私慾的價值：盛女不斷的尋求肉體上的歡愉，要找外表俊俏漂亮的伴侶，要求伴侶講究衣著打扮，名牌服飾缺一不可。能和這樣的伴侶在一起，她們感到寬心，感到有面子，伴侶的外在打扮就反映她們擇偶的品味，虛榮感都叫她們的私慾得到滿足。
消費的價值：盛女會比拼誰家大少公子的身家多寡，讓甲與乙的家族較勁，誰的家產較豐厚，誰就是贏家。利用林林總總的美容品來粉妝自己的外表，將自己包裝得華華麗麗，這樣就可以抬高一點身價。消費主義的流行叫她們不自覺地將自己視為一份商品，計算甲的居所是否背山面海、物業是否在於升值地段、物業的價值多少，計算乙的好男人指數，計算丙的情人指數，把自己嫁給得分高的男人。
「美」的價值：盛女會充分發揮醫學美容的果效，個人的外觀是可以隨時隨地隨心地改變的，不喜歡的部分可以換去，可以改掉，高一點、尖一點、長一點、短一點都沒有問題，人對美麗的追求可以輕易地達到，只要喜歡。
「I」的價值：電腦的方便和進步叫人的消息得以廣傳，她們不用說，只需寫；她們不用聽，只需看。消息的流動是很快速的，卻是低效的，她們不記得別人的臉，她們甚至忘記約會，因為她們害怕面對面的相處，只能給人看45度的臉，也不知道相處時除了忙碌地按著手機屏還能怎麼樣。
信心的價值：盛女不會給人看清楚全部的自己，說話半真半假，運用心理學的小技倆來玩弄人心。變化莫測的反應，前言不對後語，甚至裝聾作啞，讓男性進進退退，自己就享受其中。對人際的交通和自我都沒有信心，怕蝕底，連多說一句說話，寫長一點的短訊都怕會被嘲無面。
「盛女」現象可以讓我們反思生命的價值，叫我們更有勇氣堅持女性的真價值。
有一首兒童詩歌是這樣唱的：「耶穌喜愛世上小孩，世上所有的小孩，無論紅黃黑白種，都是耶穌心寶貝，耶穌喜愛世上一切的小孩」無論怎樣的人，何種的人，耶穌都愛，祂甚至還會使用那最不叫人重視的，不放在眼內的，叫他們為主作工。「因為耶和華不像人看人、人是看外貌，耶和華是看內心。」(撒十六7) 我們又憑甚麼去論斷別人的外貌，憑什麼他評論別人的外表和所得呢?更憑甚麼把標籤套在別人的身上，去評論別人的生命呢?
接受自己，惟有在神的愛裡我們才能找到自己的價值，得著生命的價值，為主作工，才叫我們得以完全。剩與不剩，我們都得豐盛。
Friday, April 27, 2012
基督徒愛國民主運動呼籲 聯署六四23週年紀念禱文
愁對斷腸哀思日‧祈見祥和解恨時
創造天地 掌管人類歷史的主宰
在陽光亮麗的六月天
在愁緒飛颺的斷腸時
我們向祢禱告
願讚頌榮耀 在天上唱起
願和平公義 在大地播揚
上主啊 廿三年了 我們仍在哀傷
哀傷是天安門廣場的旗幟飄揚
捲不走深土下的凝血
在仿如昨日的記憶中
那些為共和國的新生
投下全部青春的生命
竟在無情的槍聲中倒下
上主啊 想起那一張張不憤和失望的面容
在軍車的呼嘯和怒吼聲中合上眼睛
我們就會沉默 就會哭泣
念及是那些眼淚早已流乾的父母們
日復日 年復年 悲痛而無助的思念
國土之大 就容不下一束黃菊
寄上哀哀悼念 切切親情
上主啊 我們的哀傷要到幾時呢
上主啊 廿三年了 我們仍在祈盼
思念著在天涯海角
落寞在異鄉屋簷下的遊子
他們本是國家的良知與希望
呼喚著沉睡的中國靈魂
卻被逼走上去國的命途
華髮已生 容顏老去
失根蘭花 長念故土
更有人在憂憤中客死他鄉
孤墳何處話淒涼
上主啊 國家是我們的國家
土地是人民的土地
崛起的中國大門為世界而開
何以獨缺一條容讓遊子回家之路
上主啊 我們的祈盼要到幾時呢
上主啊 廿三年了 我們仍在點燭
燃亮這片自由的園地
是自由的燭光
也是禱告的燭光
燃燒著對國家最深沉的期許
燃燒著對六四最忠誠的記憶
譜成了中國人最深情的印記
聲聞於天 哀傳於地
在浩瀚天地中 祢是唯一的掌權者
世間權柄皆出於祢
願祢的恩典如雨
潤澤我中華民族乾涸的心靈
同感於宇宙造物者的奇妙宏恩
祈求賜力予有良知的領導人
在穩中求變的基調下
堅執民主改革的勇氣
敢以最大的智慧與包容
重寫這段蒙塵泣血的歷史
撫慰受創的親心
鋪設回家的歸路
為共和國抹去仇恨
迎向幸福祥和的新生
奉基督耶穌的聖名祈求 阿們
時代論壇 2012.04.24
主辦團體：香港基督徒愛國民主運動
協辦團體：基督徒關懷香港學會
創造天地 掌管人類歷史的主宰
在陽光亮麗的六月天
在愁緒飛颺的斷腸時
我們向祢禱告
願讚頌榮耀 在天上唱起
願和平公義 在大地播揚
上主啊 廿三年了 我們仍在哀傷
哀傷是天安門廣場的旗幟飄揚
捲不走深土下的凝血
在仿如昨日的記憶中
那些為共和國的新生
投下全部青春的生命
竟在無情的槍聲中倒下
上主啊 想起那一張張不憤和失望的面容
在軍車的呼嘯和怒吼聲中合上眼睛
我們就會沉默 就會哭泣
念及是那些眼淚早已流乾的父母們
日復日 年復年 悲痛而無助的思念
國土之大 就容不下一束黃菊
寄上哀哀悼念 切切親情
上主啊 我們的哀傷要到幾時呢
上主啊 廿三年了 我們仍在祈盼
思念著在天涯海角
落寞在異鄉屋簷下的遊子
他們本是國家的良知與希望
呼喚著沉睡的中國靈魂
卻被逼走上去國的命途
華髮已生 容顏老去
失根蘭花 長念故土
更有人在憂憤中客死他鄉
孤墳何處話淒涼
上主啊 國家是我們的國家
土地是人民的土地
崛起的中國大門為世界而開
何以獨缺一條容讓遊子回家之路
上主啊 我們的祈盼要到幾時呢
上主啊 廿三年了 我們仍在點燭
燃亮這片自由的園地
是自由的燭光
也是禱告的燭光
燃燒著對國家最深沉的期許
燃燒著對六四最忠誠的記憶
譜成了中國人最深情的印記
聲聞於天 哀傳於地
在浩瀚天地中 祢是唯一的掌權者
世間權柄皆出於祢
願祢的恩典如雨
潤澤我中華民族乾涸的心靈
同感於宇宙造物者的奇妙宏恩
祈求賜力予有良知的領導人
在穩中求變的基調下
堅執民主改革的勇氣
敢以最大的智慧與包容
重寫這段蒙塵泣血的歷史
撫慰受創的親心
鋪設回家的歸路
為共和國抹去仇恨
迎向幸福祥和的新生
奉基督耶穌的聖名祈求 阿們
時代論壇 2012.04.24
主辦團體：香港基督徒愛國民主運動
協辦團體：基督徒關懷香港學會
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Abstinence Education
Abstinence Education
American College of Pediatricians - October 2010
The American College of Pediatricians strongly endorses
abstinence-until-marriage sex education and recommends adoption by all school
systems in lieu of “comprehensive sex education". This position is based
on “the public health principle of primary prevention – risk avoidance in lieu
of risk reduction,” upholding the “human right to the highest attainable
standard of health.”1
By every measure, adolescent sexual activity is detrimental
to the well-being of all involved, especially young women, and society at
large. Children and adolescents from 10 to 19 years of age are more at risk for
contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) than adults.2 This is due to
the general practice of having multiple and higher risk sexual partners, and to
the immaturity of the cervical tissue of girls and young women. The CDC
recently stated that of the 19 million new cases of STIs annually reported in
the United States, 50 percent occur in teens and young adults under 25 years of
age.3 Twenty-five percent of newly diagnosed cases of HIV occur in those under
22 years of age.4 This translates into one in four sexually active female
adolescents being infected with at least one STI.5
Bacterial STIs may cause life-threatening cases of pelvic
inflammatory disease (PID) and infertility. Viral STIs which include herpes,
the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) and HIV are generally incurable. Herpes
afflicts its victims with life-long painful recurrences, may be passed on to
sexual partners even when asymptomatic, and may be life threatening to infants
if passed on at birth during vaginal delivery. HPV is found among 90 percent of
sexually active young adults and teens.6 While often self-limited, HPV has
high-risk strains that may persist for life and cause cancer of the cervix. HIV
not only causes premature demise, but also significant suffering with life-long
dependence on multiple toxic and costly medications. The CDC estimates that
STIs cost the U.S. health care system as much as $15.3 billion dollars
annually.7
Adolescent pregnancy is similarly associated with adverse
socioeconomics that have an impact on the family, community, and society at
large. One in thirteen high school girls becomes pregnant each year.8
Adolescent pregnancy results in decreased educational and vocational
opportunities for the mothers, an increased likelihood of the family living in
poverty, and significant risk for negative long-term outcomes for the children.
For example, children of adolescent mothers are more likely to be born
prematurely and at a low birth weight; suffer from poor health; perform poorly
in school; run away from home; be abused or neglected; and grow up without a father.9
Even if sexually active teens escape acquiring sexually
transmitted infections (STIs) and becoming pregnant, few remain emotionally
unscathed. Overall, one in eight teens suffers from depression,10 and suicide
has risen to become the third leading cause of death for adolescents,
paralleling the rise in STIs within this population.11 Infection with an STI
has long been recognized as a cause for depression among teens. More recently,
however, adolescent sexual activity alone has been acknowledged as an
independent risk factor for developing low self-esteem, major depression, and
attempting suicide.12 In studies that controlled for confounding factors,
sexually active girls were found to be three times as likely to report being
depressed and three times as likely to have attempted suicide when compared to
sexually abstinent girls.13 Sexually active boys were more than twice as likely
to suffer from depression and seven times as likely to have attempted suicide
when compared to sexually abstinent boys.14 This is not mere coincidence.
Scientists now know that sexual activity releases chemicals in the brain that
create emotional bonds between partners. Breaking these bonds can cause
depression, and make it harder to bond with someone else in the future.15
Sexual activity is defined as genital contact. This includes
mutual masturbation, as well as oral, vaginal, and anal intercourse. While only
vaginal intercourse may result in pregnancy, all of these practices may spread
STIs, and lead to emotional trauma. Abstaining from all sexual activity is the
only 100 percent safe and effective way to avoid teen pregnancies, STIs, and
the emotional fallout of adolescent sexual activity. Almost 40 years of
emphasis on “safer sex” with “values-neutral sex education,” condoms and
contraception has clearly failed our young people. Abstinence education does
not occur in a vacuum, making it especially difficult to separate its influence
from the opposing influence of the media and cultural milieu. Nevertheless,
effectiveness of abstinence sex education in delaying the onset of sexual debut
has been demonstrated in rigorous scientific studies. For example, five out of
seven programs recently reviewed showed a significant reduction in sexual
initiation rates (two programs showed rates decreased by half).16 Evaluation of
community-based abstinence programs in peer-reviewed journals showed that they
are effective in significantly reducing pregnancy. According to an April 2008
report by the Heritage Foundation “fifteen studies examined abstinence programs
and eleven reported positive findings of delayed sexual initiation.”17 Reviews
by The Institute for Research and Evaluation state that “several well designed
evaluations of abstinence programs have found significant long- term reductions
in adolescent sexual activity.”18 These do not begin to thoroughly evaluate the
hundreds of ongoing programs.
In its endorsement of abstinence-based sex education, the
College calls attention to the scientific controversies surrounding alternative
educational platforms. Most sex education curricula fall into two categories,
abstinence-until-marriage or comprehensive sex education programs (occasionally
also referred to as “abstinence plus” programs). Recently, abstinence education
has been criticized for not providing critical health information about condom
use. Abstinence education curricula, however, do not discourage the use of
condoms; rather they note that chastity obviates the need for condoms.
Abstinence education programs do not claim that condoms have no place in
preventing STIs. Comprehensive programs, on the other hand, are misleading in
the emphasis they place on condom use. These programs give teens the impression
that condoms make sexual activity safe. In reality, there has been much conflicting
medical literature on the effectiveness of condoms in preventing STIs since the
2000 NIH report on the subject and much of the controversy remains
unresolved.19 Teens must be informed that condoms do not offer complete
protection from either pregnancy or STIs.
The College position supporting abstinence-until-marriage
education, unlike alternative education platforms, also recognizes the unique
neurobiology of adolescent brains. The frontal cortex of the adolescent brain
is still in development and unable to make the consistently wise executive
decisions necessary to control action based on emotional input. Researcher Jay
Giedd and others have found that young people do not have the physical brain
capacity to make fully mature decisions until their mid-twenties.20
Consequently, when it comes to sex education, adolescents
need to be given clear direction repeatedly, as is done with programs that
address smoking, drugs, and alcohol use. Emphasis on contraceptive methods
undermines the authority of parents and the strength of the abstinence message.
This approach reinforces the ubiquitous (yet erroneous) message presented by
the media that engaging in sexual activity is not only expected of teens, but
also the norm. Adolescent brains are not equipped to handle these mixed
messages. Parents and teachers need to “function as a surrogate set of frontal
lobes, an auxiliary problem solver” for their teens, setting firm and immutable
expectations.21 Adolescents need repetitive, clear, and consistent guidance.
As families address this issue of sex education, the
American College of Pediatricians recommends that parents be fully aware of the
content of the curriculum to which their children are being exposed. The
national “Guidelines for Comprehensive Sex Education” that were drafted by the
Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) place
strong emphasis on “values neutral” sex education beginning in kindergarten.
According to these guidelines, children between the ages of 5 to 8 should be
taught not only the anatomically correct names of all body parts, but also the
definitions of sexual intercourse, and masturbation.22
Overall, these comprehensive programs only emphasize “safer
sex.” Many comprehensive programs also provide sexually erotic material to
teens with explicit condom demonstrations. Other programs suggest alternative
types of sexually stimulating contact (referred to as “outercourse”) that would
not result in pregnancy but still could result in STIs. Some of these
activities, depending on the ages of those involved and the state in which they
occur, could actually be illegal. These education programs can break down the
natural barriers of those not yet involved in sexual activity and encourage
experimentation. Additionally, many programs emphasize that teens do not need
parental consent to obtain birth control and that teens therefore need not even
discuss the issue with them.23
Discouraging parental involvement eliminates one of the most
powerful deterrents to sexual activity, namely, communication of parental
expectations.24 Firm statements from parents that sex should be reserved for
marriage have been found to be very effective in delaying sexual debut.
Parental example and “religiosity” have also been found to be similarly protective.
Adolescents reared by parents who live according to their professed faith25 and
are actively involved in their worship community,26 are more likely to abstain
from sexual activity as teens. Successful sex education programs involve
parents and promote open discussion between parents and their children.
The American College of Pediatricians also believes parents
should be aware of the current state of funding, and government involvement in
sex education choices. Comprehensive programs receive seven to twelve times the
funding of abstinence programs.27 However, according to a recent study by the
Department of Health and Human Services, comprehensive programs do not give
equal time to abstinence.
In 2004 Congressman Henry Waxman of California presented a
report before Congress critical of the medical accuracy of abstinence education
curricula.29 The Mathematica Study was similarly critical of the medical
accuracy of abstinence education programs.30 However, in 2007 the U.S
.Department of Health and Human Services conducted an extensive review of nine
comprehensive sex education curricula using the same methods employed by
Congressman Waxman and the Mathematica Study. These comprehensive programs were
found to have no better record for medical accuracy. The HHS review also found
that the comprehensive programs were hardly comprehensive. The amount of
discussion dedicated to “safer sex” exceeded that spent on abstinence by a
factor of up to seven. Some of the programs failed to mention abstinence
altogether. None of the programs carefully distinguished between reducing and
eliminating the risks of sexual activity, and nearly every program failed to
mention the emotional consequences of early sexual activity. Although some of
the comprehensive programs showed a small effect in reducing “unprotected” sex
(7 of 9 programs) and to a lesser extent in delaying sexual debut (2 of 8
programs), the impact did not extend beyond six months.31
According to a 2004 Zogby Poll, 90% of adults and teens
agree with The American College of Pediatricians position that teens should be
given a strong abstinence message.32 Programs that teach sexual abstinence
until marriage are about much more than simply delaying sexual activity. They
assist adolescents in establishing positive character traits, formulating
long-term goals, and developing emotionally healthy relationships. These
programs increase the likelihood of strong marriages and families - the single
most essential resource for the strength and survival of our nation.
March 13, 2009
Edited October 26, 2010
貞潔教育代替「全面式性教育」
貞潔教育代替「全面式性教育」
作者 美國兒科醫學會
2012.04.15
美國兒科醫學會強烈贊同婚前貞潔教育，並建議所有學校系統以此代替「全面式性教育」。此立場是基於「公共衛生的初級防禦（primary
prevention）原則──以避免危險取代降低危險」，並支持「追求健康的人權」。
就各方面而言，青少年性行為對兩性（特別是年輕女孩）以及整體社會皆有不利影響。十到十九歲的兒童與青少年比成人更容易感染性病（sexually
transmitted infection, STI），因他們普遍擁有多位或較高危險的性伴侶，而且年輕女孩的子宮頸組織尚未發育成熟。美國疾病管制局（CDC）最近指出，在每年呈報的一千九百萬性病新病例中，有百分之五十是青少年與二十五歲以下的年輕人；在新增的HIV病例中有百分之二十五未滿二十二歲。換言之，在性活躍的青少女中，每四人就有一位感染至少一種性病。
細菌引起的性病可能引發危及生命的骨盆發炎（pelvic
inflammatory disease, PID）和不孕。病毒引起的性病通常無法治癒，包括皰疹、人類乳突病毒（Human
Papilloma Virus, HPV）和HIV。皰疹患者終生為疼痛的復發所苦，未發作時也可能傳染給性伴侶，若經陰道生產傳染給新生兒，可能危及嬰孩性命。性活躍的年輕人與青少年九成身上帶有HPV病毒，儘管HPV病毒通常具自限性，某些高危險種株卻可能無法治癒並引發子宮頸癌，患者不但早逝，而且終生需辛苦仰賴昂貴的多種高毒性藥物。據CDC估計，性病每年耗費美國醫療體系高達一百五十三億美元。
青少年懷孕同樣不利於社會經濟，影響家庭、社區和整體社會。每年十三位中學女孩中就有一位懷孕，青少年懷孕會降低小媽媽接受教育與就職的機會、增加家庭陷入貧窮的可能，而且帶給孩子長遠的負面影響。舉例而言，青少年媽媽的孩子比較可能早產、體重過輕；健康不良；學習不良；逃家；被施暴或忽視；成長於無父的單親家庭。
性活躍的青少年即使沒有感染性病或懷孕，也很難免於情感上的傷害。大體上，八名青少年中就有一位受憂鬱之苦，自殺已升為青少年死因的第三名， 與性病罹患率同時上升。感染性病一直被視為青少年憂鬱的導因，但是近期研究發現青少年性行為本身即為自尊低落、重度憂鬱和自殺企圖的獨立危險因子（independent
risk factor）。
研究指出，控制干擾因素（confounding factors）後，性活躍的女孩比性貞潔的女孩，在憂鬱症和自殺企圖上皆高出三倍；性活躍的男孩比性貞潔的男孩，憂鬱症高出兩倍，自殺企圖高出七倍。這不只是巧合。科學家現在知道性行為會使大腦釋放化學物質，使兩方建立感情連結。連結的破裂可能造成憂鬱，而且在未來更難與別人建立感情連結。
性行為的定義是接觸生殖器官，包括以手撫摸和以口部、陰道與肛門進行交合。雖然只有透過陰道性交才會懷孕，但以上行為都可能感染性病，也都能造成情感傷害。避免各種性行為才是青少年百分之百安全、有效避免懷孕、性病與情感創傷的方法。可惜近四十年來「中立的性教育」強調「安全的性」、保險套和避孕，顯然將我們的年輕人導向歧途。雖然貞潔教育的效果不易單獨評估，因為很難將之從媒體和文化環境的相對影響力中隔開。
然而，貞潔教育延緩初次性行為年齡的成果已在嚴謹的科學研究中證明；舉例來說，在最近評估的七個計劃中，有五個顯示性行為初發率有意義的（significant）降低（在其中兩個計劃中降低了一半）。期刊論文對以社區為基礎的貞潔計劃做了評估，結果顯示這些計劃有意義的減少青少年懷孕。根據2008年四月美國傳統基金會（Heritage
Foundation）的報告：「在十五個調查貞潔計劃的研究中，有十一個對延緩初次性行為有正面成果。」研究與評估學會（The
Institute for Research and Evaluation）的評論指出：「貞潔計劃有意義的長期減少（significant long-
term reductions）青少年性行為。」更不用說其餘數百項未經評估的施行中計劃。
因為協會支持貞潔為本的性教育，外界開始注意不同教育綱領在科學上的爭議。大部分的性教育課程可被歸入兩個分類，婚前守貞或是全面式性教育（或稱為「安全性教育」）。近來，貞潔教育被批為未教導關於保險套的重要健康知識；其實貞潔教育課程並不反對使用保險套，而是守貞排除了保險套的需要。貞潔教育課程並未忽視保險套在預防性病上的用處。相對來說，全面式性教育課程錯誤地強調保險套的功用，讓青少年以為保險套保證性行為的安全。事實上，自從2000年國家衛生研究所做了相關報告，就有很多相互矛盾的醫學文獻在探討保險套預防性病的功用，至今仍有許多未解的爭議。青少年應被告知保險套不能保證避孕或預防性病。
學會的立場是支持婚前守貞教育，而且不像其它教育綱領，學會也了解青少年腦部獨特的神經科學。青少年腦部的額葉皮質仍在發育中，對於情感的刺激無法持續作出一貫明智的決定來控制青少年的行為。研究員Jay
Giedd等人發現，生理上，年輕人的腦部在大約二十五歲之前，無法做出完全成熟的決定。
因此，論到性教育，青少年必須被重複、明確的教導，如同警戒抽菸、毒品和酒精飲料的教育課程一樣。僅強調避孕方法不僅弱化了父母親的權柄和守貞信念的強度，也強化了被媒體無孔不入地滲透（卻是錯誤）的觀念──把性活躍描繪成不只是青少年，更是人人都熱衷的行為。青少年的腦部還無法處理這些混淆的觀念，家長和老師必須成為青少年的「代理額葉、解決問題的法寶」，並設立堅定不變的標準。青少年需要重複、明確而且持續不斷的指引。
許多家庭關心性教育，美國兒科醫學會建議家長，要深入了解孩童在學校所接受的教育內容。由美國性資訊與性教育聯合會（Sexuality
Information and Education Council of the United States, SIECUS）草擬的「國家性教育指導綱要」極力強調從幼稚園開始實施「中立」的性教育。但根據這些綱要，五至八歲的孩童不只要認識人體模型各個部位的名稱，也要能定義性交和手淫。
總體來說，這些全面式教育計劃只強調「安全的性」，許多此類計劃也提供青少年附帶詳盡保險套示範的情色資訊。有些計劃則提議各種刺激性慾的觸碰（體外性交）不會造成懷孕；但如此卻仍可能感染性病，而且依據年齡及各州規定，某些觸碰的行為可能會觸犯法律。此類計劃會使未發生性行為的青少年打破兩性間自然的界線，甚至鼓勵性行為的嘗試。另外，許多計劃強調青少年不需家長同意即可取得避孕用品，甚至因此建議不須和父母討論這類議題。
減少家長的介入消除了一個對性行為最有效的威懾力量，也就是父母所設立的規矩。父母對婚前性行為的堅決反對，已有研究顯示可以延緩發生初次性行為的年齡。家長的榜樣和「宗教虔誠」也有類似的保護效果。由虔誠實踐信仰、參與教會團體的雙親撫養的青少年，比較能夠守貞。成功的性教育需要家長參與，並鼓勵孩子進行敞開的溝通。
美國兒科醫學會也認為，家長應當關心目前政府對性教育的立場和經費分配。全面式教育獲得的經費比貞潔教育高出七至十二倍；然而，根據美國衛生福利部（Department
of Health and Human Services）最近的報告，全面式教育用在青少年身上的時間根本比不上貞潔教育。
2004年，加州議員Henry Waxman在國會提出報告，批評貞潔教育課程的醫學根據。麥瑟麥迪卡研究（Mathematica
Study）也提出類似的批評。不過在2007年，美國衛生福利部使用與Waxman議員、麥瑟麥迪卡研究一樣的方法，對全面式性教育計劃進行大規模評估，結果發現該計劃並沒有更好的醫學根據。此評估也發現全面式教育根本不全面，討論「安全的性」的份量遠多出討論守貞的七倍，有些計劃更是省略不提守貞。沒有一個計劃仔細區別減少和消除性行為危險之間的差異，幾乎每個計劃都沒有論及早年性行為造成的情感創傷後果。雖然有些全面式教育計劃在減少「未保護」的性行為上小有成就（九個計劃中的七個），在延緩初次性行為上也有微幅成效（八個計劃中的兩個），但這些影響力都無法持續超過六個月。
根據2004年的左格比民調（Zogby
Poll），百分之九十的成人和青少年贊成美國兒科學會的立場，也就是青少年需要堅定的貞潔教育。婚前守貞的教育計劃不僅能延緩性行為，更幫助青少年建立正面的人格特質、訂立長期目標，並發展健康的情感關係。此類計劃提升堅固婚姻與家庭的可能性，而這兩者是延續、堅固國家的最必要資產。
Friday, March 09, 2012
請不要利用我的虔誠 / M60
請不要利用我的虔誠 / M60 : 眾議園
《時代論壇》Christian Times 第一二八○期.二○一二年三月十一日
曾經，對夢想總有著一份憧憬，希望長大後能夠實現，可是你卻告訴我夢想是出於人意的私慾，只有追求上帝才是人生的意義。最後，那年開始我再沒有夢想。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來破碎我的夢想！
曾經，對愛情總有著一份期待，直至高中時我終於結識了那一個她，可是你卻告訴我這樣的戀愛絕對不是上帝的心意。最後，那年的我放棄了那一段愛情。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來掠奪我的愛情！
曾經，對學業總有著一份執著，希望將來在社會能有所成就，可是你卻告訴我只要懂得擺上，即使把時間都花在教會事奉上帝也會祝福。最後，那年的我留級了。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來摧毀我的前途！
曾經，對友誼總有著一份看重，認為朋友間應該兩脇插刀，可是你卻告訴我只有建立在信仰的友誼才是穩固，告訴我不要受世界的影響。最後，那年的我在學校真的很孤獨。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來破壞我的友誼！
曾經，對信仰總有著一份疑問，希望能夠繼續尋求找到答案，可是你卻告訴我只要信，把我的發問視為信心不足。最後，那年的我迷惘了。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來阻止我的尋求！
曾經，對牧者總有著一份信任，認為牧者能夠引領我的人生，認為牧者真的關心著我，可是你卻告訴了我原來你關心的只是我有沒有違反你那套殘缺不堪的原則，你只是希望把我變成你自己。最後，那年開始我再不相信牧者。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來打破我的信任！
曾經，對人生總有著一份希望，認為人生能夠多姿多彩，過得更有意義，可是你卻告訴我在世上我們只是寄居，應該注目在永生的天堂，放棄地上的一切。最後，那年的我對這世界不再有盼望。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來摧毀我的人生！
筆者按︰雖然以上內容並不盡是我的經歷，但卻是在我在教會十年間的所聽所聞。
《時代論壇》Christian Times 第一二八○期.二○一二年三月十一日
曾經，對夢想總有著一份憧憬，希望長大後能夠實現，可是你卻告訴我夢想是出於人意的私慾，只有追求上帝才是人生的意義。最後，那年開始我再沒有夢想。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來破碎我的夢想！
曾經，對愛情總有著一份期待，直至高中時我終於結識了那一個她，可是你卻告訴我這樣的戀愛絕對不是上帝的心意。最後，那年的我放棄了那一段愛情。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來掠奪我的愛情！
曾經，對學業總有著一份執著，希望將來在社會能有所成就，可是你卻告訴我只要懂得擺上，即使把時間都花在教會事奉上帝也會祝福。最後，那年的我留級了。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來摧毀我的前途！
曾經，對友誼總有著一份看重，認為朋友間應該兩脇插刀，可是你卻告訴我只有建立在信仰的友誼才是穩固，告訴我不要受世界的影響。最後，那年的我在學校真的很孤獨。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來破壞我的友誼！
曾經，對信仰總有著一份疑問，希望能夠繼續尋求找到答案，可是你卻告訴我只要信，把我的發問視為信心不足。最後，那年的我迷惘了。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來阻止我的尋求！
曾經，對牧者總有著一份信任，認為牧者能夠引領我的人生，認為牧者真的關心著我，可是你卻告訴了我原來你關心的只是我有沒有違反你那套殘缺不堪的原則，你只是希望把我變成你自己。最後，那年開始我再不相信牧者。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來打破我的信任！
曾經，對人生總有著一份希望，認為人生能夠多姿多彩，過得更有意義，可是你卻告訴我在世上我們只是寄居，應該注目在永生的天堂，放棄地上的一切。最後，那年的我對這世界不再有盼望。
請不要利用我的虔誠，來摧毀我的人生！
筆者按︰雖然以上內容並不盡是我的經歷，但卻是在我在教會十年間的所聽所聞。
Friday, March 02, 2012
仇敵是這樣融化的 / 李淑潔
仇敵是這樣融化的 / 李淑潔 : 徐李以外 -《時代論壇》Christian Times
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第一二七九期.二○一二年三月四日
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Women’s ‘inner beauty’
What are you thinking after reading his letter to his schoolmates...?
From the Toronto Star:
All he wanted was to share the love, but instead he got suspended.
A Catholic high school student is appealing a suspension he received after distributing a Valentine’s Day letter to classmates that praised women’s inner beauty.
“Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity,” wrote Paul Gomille, a 17-year-old student at Archbishop Denis O'Connor Catholic High School.
“It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin.”
Paul Gomille’s letter to young women
It’s the second time in less than five months the Ajax school has made headlines. In November, it attracted international attention after a trustee said too many girls were hiking their kilts to unacceptable heights.
Initially, Principal Donna Modeste was on board with his idea, said Gomille, who wanted to deliver his message as a speech.
“She said this is very timely, this is very good, we’ve got the kilt controversy and everything that’s been happening … this is very timely to get the message out there about modesty,” he said.
But later, Modeste suggested some revisions to the address, in particular sentences where Gomille is “judgmental” and describes his audience as “the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing.”
Gomille didn’t comply with Modeste and ultimately decided to make 136 copies of his speech — the approximate number of students who sit in the cafeteria — and distribute them on Feb. 14, during lunch.
Hours later, he was summoned to the principal’s office and handed a two-day suspension for his “opposition to authority.” Gomille served his at-home suspension on Feb 15 and 16.
Mitch LePage, Catholic board superintendent of education, was reluctant to talk about the love-letter case.
“I think any suspension is a serious matter and reflects, I don’t know, I’d say reflects circumstances which the school and administration would have investigated thoroughly,” said LePage.
Principal Modeste could not be reached for comment.
Gomille’s family members suggested the school’s suspension is a misguided attempt to discourage what could have been an honest discussion about love.
“Paul describes himself as a man of dignity in the letter and really he truly is,” said older sister Alexandra. “He’s definitely got a different perception than most teenagers these days.”
Alexandra, 21, said brother Paul is a quiet and reserved, likes playing the video game World Of Warcraft, and does not, to her knowledge, have a girlfriend.
“That's Paul just speaking from the heart; he’s never been big on going after girls,” said Mike Shank, a student at the school.
“How many guys are going to go out there and call a girl beautiful instead of sexy?” said Shank. “He was just the one that stood out and had the guts to do it.”
Following Gomille’s suspension, students launched a multipronged protest on Tmblr, Twitter and Facebook. A “Free Paul” petition amassed 234 signatures.
“People mostly found out (what happened) through social networking sites and nobody approved,” said Jamie Savoie, another student at the school. “It didn’t really die down.”
For his part, Gomille says he’s not letting his new celebrity status go to his head.
“Occasionally students will say they liked my speech, or they’ll just say hi to me or something,” he said. “I’m trying to stay humble about it.”
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PAUL GOMILLE’S LETTER TO YOUNG WOMEN
According to the young author, the passages in boldface are those the school’s administrators took issue with.
Could I please have your attention for a few moments? I guarantee you won’t regret listening to what I have to say. You definitely won’t regret hearing this in your life time, especially from a man of dignity. It’s an idea that I have held close to my heart even before the kilt controversy arose in the media. This message is not meant to address the kilt controversy directly by any means, but rather, this message is a general and all-encompassing statement. It is a message about the qualities that really matter in a woman, and what really makes a woman attractive. Although this speech has some relevance to the way women dress and present themselves nowadays, the message in this speech goes far beyond one’s preferences, or feelings of pressure, as it relates to the way they dress, and it goes far beyond any concept of modernity. It strikes at the very core of humanity itself, in an attempt to make a revelation of truth apparent to all of you, with awe inspiring certainty. If you read this, and receive anything less than a feeling of absolution from it, then I have committed a grave sin, a sin against myself and a sin against all of you.
The people this message concerns are the young women of this school, and of the world. In particular, it concerns the silent ones, the intelligent ones, the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing, the ones who would love to be in love, and the ones that are continually disappointed in their appearance because the only thing they have to compare themselves to are the women that have been put on pedestals by our society. This message also concerns those of you who may consider yourselves the so called “opposite” to the demographic I just described. The ones who do dress in revealing clothing, and the ones who try to fit in with the crowd.
You don’t need to dress or act a certain way to fit in, to feel attractive, or to BE attractive. You’re all far more attractive than you realize. All of you. But that’s not to say that you should all dress in revealing clothing. No, not at all. Sure, a girl who dresses that way might turn a few heads, and get some compliments. But real attractiveness doesn’t come from wearing the latest fashion, and it doesn’t come from being scantily clad in public, or putting on make-up, or having a pretty face, or a nice body. No. Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity. It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin. This message is for all young women within the sound of my voice and beyond. You’re all beautiful. You all have inner beauty AND outer beauty.
From the Toronto Star:
Student fights suspension over letter praising women’s ‘inner beauty’
All he wanted was to share the love, but instead he got suspended.
A Catholic high school student is appealing a suspension he received after distributing a Valentine’s Day letter to classmates that praised women’s inner beauty.
“Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity,” wrote Paul Gomille, a 17-year-old student at Archbishop Denis O'Connor Catholic High School.
“It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin.”
Paul Gomille’s letter to young women
It’s the second time in less than five months the Ajax school has made headlines. In November, it attracted international attention after a trustee said too many girls were hiking their kilts to unacceptable heights.
Initially, Principal Donna Modeste was on board with his idea, said Gomille, who wanted to deliver his message as a speech.
“She said this is very timely, this is very good, we’ve got the kilt controversy and everything that’s been happening … this is very timely to get the message out there about modesty,” he said.
But later, Modeste suggested some revisions to the address, in particular sentences where Gomille is “judgmental” and describes his audience as “the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing.”
Gomille didn’t comply with Modeste and ultimately decided to make 136 copies of his speech — the approximate number of students who sit in the cafeteria — and distribute them on Feb. 14, during lunch.
Hours later, he was summoned to the principal’s office and handed a two-day suspension for his “opposition to authority.” Gomille served his at-home suspension on Feb 15 and 16.
Mitch LePage, Catholic board superintendent of education, was reluctant to talk about the love-letter case.
“I think any suspension is a serious matter and reflects, I don’t know, I’d say reflects circumstances which the school and administration would have investigated thoroughly,” said LePage.
Principal Modeste could not be reached for comment.
Gomille’s family members suggested the school’s suspension is a misguided attempt to discourage what could have been an honest discussion about love.
“Paul describes himself as a man of dignity in the letter and really he truly is,” said older sister Alexandra. “He’s definitely got a different perception than most teenagers these days.”
Alexandra, 21, said brother Paul is a quiet and reserved, likes playing the video game World Of Warcraft, and does not, to her knowledge, have a girlfriend.
“That's Paul just speaking from the heart; he’s never been big on going after girls,” said Mike Shank, a student at the school.
“How many guys are going to go out there and call a girl beautiful instead of sexy?” said Shank. “He was just the one that stood out and had the guts to do it.”
Following Gomille’s suspension, students launched a multipronged protest on Tmblr, Twitter and Facebook. A “Free Paul” petition amassed 234 signatures.
“People mostly found out (what happened) through social networking sites and nobody approved,” said Jamie Savoie, another student at the school. “It didn’t really die down.”
For his part, Gomille says he’s not letting his new celebrity status go to his head.
“Occasionally students will say they liked my speech, or they’ll just say hi to me or something,” he said. “I’m trying to stay humble about it.”
-
PAUL GOMILLE’S LETTER TO YOUNG WOMEN
According to the young author, the passages in boldface are those the school’s administrators took issue with.
Could I please have your attention for a few moments? I guarantee you won’t regret listening to what I have to say. You definitely won’t regret hearing this in your life time, especially from a man of dignity. It’s an idea that I have held close to my heart even before the kilt controversy arose in the media. This message is not meant to address the kilt controversy directly by any means, but rather, this message is a general and all-encompassing statement. It is a message about the qualities that really matter in a woman, and what really makes a woman attractive. Although this speech has some relevance to the way women dress and present themselves nowadays, the message in this speech goes far beyond one’s preferences, or feelings of pressure, as it relates to the way they dress, and it goes far beyond any concept of modernity. It strikes at the very core of humanity itself, in an attempt to make a revelation of truth apparent to all of you, with awe inspiring certainty. If you read this, and receive anything less than a feeling of absolution from it, then I have committed a grave sin, a sin against myself and a sin against all of you.
The people this message concerns are the young women of this school, and of the world. In particular, it concerns the silent ones, the intelligent ones, the ones that don’t talk about people behind their backs, the ones that guys don’t flock to in droves, the ones that don’t dress in revealing clothing, the ones who would love to be in love, and the ones that are continually disappointed in their appearance because the only thing they have to compare themselves to are the women that have been put on pedestals by our society. This message also concerns those of you who may consider yourselves the so called “opposite” to the demographic I just described. The ones who do dress in revealing clothing, and the ones who try to fit in with the crowd.
You don’t need to dress or act a certain way to fit in, to feel attractive, or to BE attractive. You’re all far more attractive than you realize. All of you. But that’s not to say that you should all dress in revealing clothing. No, not at all. Sure, a girl who dresses that way might turn a few heads, and get some compliments. But real attractiveness doesn’t come from wearing the latest fashion, and it doesn’t come from being scantily clad in public, or putting on make-up, or having a pretty face, or a nice body. No. Real attractiveness comes from having a certain dignity. It comes from having class. It comes from being true to yourself, being yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin. This message is for all young women within the sound of my voice and beyond. You’re all beautiful. You all have inner beauty AND outer beauty.
Recall Notice.... (Important...!)
(Shared thru my friend)
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because HE Lives!
Thursday, March 01, 2012
轉離自己
若想要憂愁和煩惱，最直接的方法就是「多想自己」；相反，若不再想自己，只想到別人，處處為別人著想，我們的心胸就開闊了，痛苦也就自然消失。聖經說：「我若心裡注重罪孽，主必不聽。」（詩六十六18）一個自私的人必是一個犯罪的人，因為自私就是罪。約伯三個朋友的話曾刺傷他；但神要約伯學習愛心的功課，為他的朋友代求。而代求之前約伯必須對付恨人的罪，進而才有為他們代禱的負擔。
姜武城
本文轉載自 靈雨甘霖《2012-3-1 主題默想》
Monday, February 27, 2012
A good story to reflect
Me: God, can I ask You a question?
God: Sure
Me: Promise You won't get mad
God: I promise
Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?
God: What do u mean?
Me: Well, I woke up late
God: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start
God: Okay
Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait
God: Huummm
Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call
God: All right
Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?
God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one
of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that
Me (humbled): OH
GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.
Me: (ashamed)
God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.
Me (embarrassed):Okay
God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.
Me (softly): I see God
God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I'm Sorry God
God: Don't be sorry, just learn to Trust Me.... in All things , the Good & the bad.
Me: I will trust You.
God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is Always Better than your plan.
Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for Everything today.
God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...
Friday, February 24, 2012
賢愚之別
唐太宗有魏徵犯顏直諫，大衛有先知拿單說「你就是這人」。二人都是明君，但都不因為從未犯過大錯，也不因身旁有人直諫——歷代暴君都有諍臣；但夏桀殺關龍逢，商紂殺比干。賢愚之別其實是能不能接受忠諫。
有人以為基督教說人都有罪，叫人反感、抗拒、無法接受，應該多講愛和恩典。殊不知這正是逆耳忠言與阿諛奉承之別，也是聽者賢與愚的試金石。
近代教育家教父母們以欣賞、稱讚取代規勸、責備，免得傷害孩子的弱小心靈。殊不知這樣做正是為社會培養心理脆弱、沒有勇氣面對自己錯誤，也無雅量接納逆耳忠言的後代。難怪現代人尤其抗拒真理，你跟他們講聖潔生活，他們會恨你呢——跟昏君沒有兩樣。
求神賜我們剛強的心，敢於面對自己的錯；並賜我們寬廣的心，容得下從神來的逆耳忠言！
馮文莊 (本文轉載自 靈雨甘霖2012-2-24《主題默想》)
有人以為基督教說人都有罪，叫人反感、抗拒、無法接受，應該多講愛和恩典。殊不知這正是逆耳忠言與阿諛奉承之別，也是聽者賢與愚的試金石。
近代教育家教父母們以欣賞、稱讚取代規勸、責備，免得傷害孩子的弱小心靈。殊不知這樣做正是為社會培養心理脆弱、沒有勇氣面對自己錯誤，也無雅量接納逆耳忠言的後代。難怪現代人尤其抗拒真理，你跟他們講聖潔生活，他們會恨你呢——跟昏君沒有兩樣。
求神賜我們剛強的心，敢於面對自己的錯；並賜我們寬廣的心，容得下從神來的逆耳忠言！
馮文莊 (本文轉載自 靈雨甘霖2012-2-24《主題默想》)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
戀人最怕的兩種話
iQuest 格思
(2012年2月13日)
劉孝偉
香港科技專上書院導師
有兩種說話，是我們最害怕另一半說的，一種是謊話，另一種則是一時意氣而提出分手的話。
先談謊話，沒有人會希望被欺騙，特別是向自己說謊的，是最親密的另一半時，那份信任破損的憤怒與傷害，是可以想像的，如果涉及不忠，便更加難堪。當我們發現伴侶說謊，很自然地會產生兩種常見的反應，第一是直斥其非，指責對方，第二是忍辱負重，避免衝突。但如果我們嘗試以第三者的角度去想，不難發現兩種處理方法都不是最好的，前者只會引起激烈的爭執，無論對方是否承認，最後能否解決問題都好，首先換來的便是一段不快的回憶，傷害彼此感情；選擇啞忍也屬不智，因為這只不過是逃避問題，而其實我們都知道，繼續下去，你只會對對方的一言一語、一舉一動都深感懷疑，不單對關係毫無幫助，而且痛苦的也是自己。
或者，我們可以延遲自己的反應，先冷靜一下，想一想對方為什麼要說謊。其實很多時，說謊是一種自卑與脆弱的表現，正如美國著名作家包約翰(John Powell) 的經典名句所言：「我不敢告訴你我是誰，因為，如果我告訴了你我是誰，你可能會不喜歡這個誰，而這個誰，卻是我僅有的一切。」情侶之間的謊言，往往不是想刻意傷害對方的，相反更可能是為了維護彼此的感情。如果是這樣的話，那對方的出發點原是好的，只是錯用了方法而已。所謂危中有機，如果雙方能心平氣和地對話，表達自己內心真正的感受如恐懼、擔憂、渴求等，往往能解決許多不必要的誤會，甚至令彼此的信任與感情都更穩固。
第二種就是因意氣而提出分開的話，「分手」這兩個字，我們都知道不應該輕易說出口，可是情侶在爭吵得激烈的時候，卻總會衝口而出地提出分開，然而，那通常不是他們的原意。舉例說，一個女孩子對男朋友講：「既然大家一起這麼不快樂，我們還是分手吧！」但其實她心裡想說的是：「我渴望能跟你快樂地在一起。」又有另一個男孩子對女朋友怒吼：「你嫌我煩嘛，我以後也懶理你死活，分手吧！」然而他的原意卻是：「我不過是關心你，可知道你的反應令我多傷心？」諸如此類的情形，相信你我也曾親身經歷過，面對深愛的人，我們總是無法好好表達自己，明明是渴望跟對方緊靠在一起，卻偏偏說了相反的話。
家族治療大師沙維雅(Virginia Satir)形容，這是一種「失功能」的對話模式。我很記得在學習輔導的課堂中，導師曾說過當一方指罵著伴侶的時候，另一隻垂下的手卻往往是在向對方招手，希望拉近雙方的距離，讓彼此親近。因此，說分手其實可能是一種求救的訊號。當我們明白了這一點後，下次若對方又提出分手，大可不必又憤怒又難過，相反，倒應該提醒自己，是時候讓大家靜下來，談談內心的感受。當然，這絕不是叫你每次都以提出分手這方法求救，其一是對方未必明白，再講每次聽到這兩個字，對你的另一半來說，都是一種傷害，只會削弱其信心。
說到這裡，我又明白多一點，為什麼聖經說舌頭是火，是個罪惡的世界， 能污染全身，也所以提醒我們要勒緊舌頭了。
(2012年2月13日)
劉孝偉
香港科技專上書院導師
有兩種說話，是我們最害怕另一半說的，一種是謊話，另一種則是一時意氣而提出分手的話。
先談謊話，沒有人會希望被欺騙，特別是向自己說謊的，是最親密的另一半時，那份信任破損的憤怒與傷害，是可以想像的，如果涉及不忠，便更加難堪。當我們發現伴侶說謊，很自然地會產生兩種常見的反應，第一是直斥其非，指責對方，第二是忍辱負重，避免衝突。但如果我們嘗試以第三者的角度去想，不難發現兩種處理方法都不是最好的，前者只會引起激烈的爭執，無論對方是否承認，最後能否解決問題都好，首先換來的便是一段不快的回憶，傷害彼此感情；選擇啞忍也屬不智，因為這只不過是逃避問題，而其實我們都知道，繼續下去，你只會對對方的一言一語、一舉一動都深感懷疑，不單對關係毫無幫助，而且痛苦的也是自己。
或者，我們可以延遲自己的反應，先冷靜一下，想一想對方為什麼要說謊。其實很多時，說謊是一種自卑與脆弱的表現，正如美國著名作家包約翰(John Powell) 的經典名句所言：「我不敢告訴你我是誰，因為，如果我告訴了你我是誰，你可能會不喜歡這個誰，而這個誰，卻是我僅有的一切。」情侶之間的謊言，往往不是想刻意傷害對方的，相反更可能是為了維護彼此的感情。如果是這樣的話，那對方的出發點原是好的，只是錯用了方法而已。所謂危中有機，如果雙方能心平氣和地對話，表達自己內心真正的感受如恐懼、擔憂、渴求等，往往能解決許多不必要的誤會，甚至令彼此的信任與感情都更穩固。
第二種就是因意氣而提出分開的話，「分手」這兩個字，我們都知道不應該輕易說出口，可是情侶在爭吵得激烈的時候，卻總會衝口而出地提出分開，然而，那通常不是他們的原意。舉例說，一個女孩子對男朋友講：「既然大家一起這麼不快樂，我們還是分手吧！」但其實她心裡想說的是：「我渴望能跟你快樂地在一起。」又有另一個男孩子對女朋友怒吼：「你嫌我煩嘛，我以後也懶理你死活，分手吧！」然而他的原意卻是：「我不過是關心你，可知道你的反應令我多傷心？」諸如此類的情形，相信你我也曾親身經歷過，面對深愛的人，我們總是無法好好表達自己，明明是渴望跟對方緊靠在一起，卻偏偏說了相反的話。
家族治療大師沙維雅(Virginia Satir)形容，這是一種「失功能」的對話模式。我很記得在學習輔導的課堂中，導師曾說過當一方指罵著伴侶的時候，另一隻垂下的手卻往往是在向對方招手，希望拉近雙方的距離，讓彼此親近。因此，說分手其實可能是一種求救的訊號。當我們明白了這一點後，下次若對方又提出分手，大可不必又憤怒又難過，相反，倒應該提醒自己，是時候讓大家靜下來，談談內心的感受。當然，這絕不是叫你每次都以提出分手這方法求救，其一是對方未必明白，再講每次聽到這兩個字，對你的另一半來說，都是一種傷害，只會削弱其信心。
說到這裡，我又明白多一點，為什麼聖經說舌頭是火，是個罪惡的世界， 能污染全身，也所以提醒我們要勒緊舌頭了。
說話的威力
iQuest 格思
(2012年2月13日)
文恩澄
創作歌手
今日有個結了婚的朋友哭著向我訴苦。
話說她和她的老公，他們剛開始在一起時，這位男朋友非常愛我的朋友，覺得她很完美，是一個很好的女孩，也對她呵護備至，是一個每個人看到也會羡慕的男朋友，我的朋友曾經和他說過一句說話：「你不要想得我過份完美，我怕當你認識我多一點，知道我多一點缺點後，你會沒那麼喜歡我」男朋友說：「你會愛上另一個男人嗎？你會打我媽嗎？兩樣也不會的話，我也不知道會有什麼缺點，我知道後能令我愛你少一點。」我朋友說：「現在是蜜月期你才這麼想，三四年後你也這樣想，你也對我這麼好，那就好了。」男朋友不停用說話和行動證明他不是蜜月期才這麼愛她的全部，令我朋友相信，在他面前可以做自己，不用因想討好人而做一個別人想要的自己。
結果，男朋友真的因覺得自己太愛她，而很快求婚，他們決定結婚了。我的朋友也因他求婚這個舉動而開始放心，開始放心並不是因為蜜月期才會有這麼美好的關係，開始放心這份愛不是建立於對方的性格和優缺點上。不出所料，訂婚後大家所有的缺點才開始浮上面，問題發生多了，開始進入磨合期。大家也有心理準備去了解和相討，大家也很想去磨合好好相處。在他們結婚前，有一次的爭吵中，男朋友突然說了一句：「和你的相處像是步步為營，我已經慢慢沒那麼喜歡你了，我決定不再忍讓了。」
我朋友覺得心痛得厲害，雖然事後男朋友說只是一時之氣才故意說出這句說話，但......他不知道這句說話有多大殺傷力，好像放棄所有互相妥協、放棄了解，放棄盡力好好相處般。朋友問我，應該怪自己做得不夠好，還是怪男朋友給了自己一個很高的期待和希望，令自己放棄了本能令自己輕易過度的心理準備和領悟：「過了蜜月期便會有變化？」婚已經求了，他會是因為不能回頭才娶她嗎？如果他還沒求婚，問題便已經出現，他還會有求婚衝動，還敢說「你有什麼缺點也很愛你」嗎？
他們現在已經結婚了，問題解決了很多，他們還是相愛，相處還不錯，只是間中有一點磨擦。但就是當初那句說話，令她經常疑神疑鬼，一想起心便會痛。這樣的婚姻，我也不懂得給什麼意見。她自己在家裡哭了一整晚，和我們一班朋友聊天時，就算其他話題，也看得出她在強顏歡笑，還有好幾次看到她突然眼濕濕，最心痛是，知道她除了我以外不能跟任何人說。
聽完她的訴苦，我也心情變得複雜，明明一段很簡單，一開始很童話故事式的愛情，為什麼會變到這麼複雜？不論是心底話或是一時之氣，只要大家還希望解決問題好好走下去，有些說話真的不能說，問題可以解決，有些傷害放在心上了，卻不是說想忘記便能忘記。如果你還有一點愛對方，可以避免的傷害，是可以避免的。
(2012年2月13日)
文恩澄
創作歌手
今日有個結了婚的朋友哭著向我訴苦。
話說她和她的老公，他們剛開始在一起時，這位男朋友非常愛我的朋友，覺得她很完美，是一個很好的女孩，也對她呵護備至，是一個每個人看到也會羡慕的男朋友，我的朋友曾經和他說過一句說話：「你不要想得我過份完美，我怕當你認識我多一點，知道我多一點缺點後，你會沒那麼喜歡我」男朋友說：「你會愛上另一個男人嗎？你會打我媽嗎？兩樣也不會的話，我也不知道會有什麼缺點，我知道後能令我愛你少一點。」我朋友說：「現在是蜜月期你才這麼想，三四年後你也這樣想，你也對我這麼好，那就好了。」男朋友不停用說話和行動證明他不是蜜月期才這麼愛她的全部，令我朋友相信，在他面前可以做自己，不用因想討好人而做一個別人想要的自己。
結果，男朋友真的因覺得自己太愛她，而很快求婚，他們決定結婚了。我的朋友也因他求婚這個舉動而開始放心，開始放心並不是因為蜜月期才會有這麼美好的關係，開始放心這份愛不是建立於對方的性格和優缺點上。不出所料，訂婚後大家所有的缺點才開始浮上面，問題發生多了，開始進入磨合期。大家也有心理準備去了解和相討，大家也很想去磨合好好相處。在他們結婚前，有一次的爭吵中，男朋友突然說了一句：「和你的相處像是步步為營，我已經慢慢沒那麼喜歡你了，我決定不再忍讓了。」
我朋友覺得心痛得厲害，雖然事後男朋友說只是一時之氣才故意說出這句說話，但......他不知道這句說話有多大殺傷力，好像放棄所有互相妥協、放棄了解，放棄盡力好好相處般。朋友問我，應該怪自己做得不夠好，還是怪男朋友給了自己一個很高的期待和希望，令自己放棄了本能令自己輕易過度的心理準備和領悟：「過了蜜月期便會有變化？」婚已經求了，他會是因為不能回頭才娶她嗎？如果他還沒求婚，問題便已經出現，他還會有求婚衝動，還敢說「你有什麼缺點也很愛你」嗎？
他們現在已經結婚了，問題解決了很多，他們還是相愛，相處還不錯，只是間中有一點磨擦。但就是當初那句說話，令她經常疑神疑鬼，一想起心便會痛。這樣的婚姻，我也不懂得給什麼意見。她自己在家裡哭了一整晚，和我們一班朋友聊天時，就算其他話題，也看得出她在強顏歡笑，還有好幾次看到她突然眼濕濕，最心痛是，知道她除了我以外不能跟任何人說。
聽完她的訴苦，我也心情變得複雜，明明一段很簡單，一開始很童話故事式的愛情，為什麼會變到這麼複雜？不論是心底話或是一時之氣，只要大家還希望解決問題好好走下去，有些說話真的不能說，問題可以解決，有些傷害放在心上了，卻不是說想忘記便能忘記。如果你還有一點愛對方，可以避免的傷害，是可以避免的。
Monday, February 13, 2012
信與不信者不可能「同負一軛」
基督日報
婚姻輔導牧者：信與不信者不可能「同負一軛」
女多男少是不少教會的事實，而大量「剩女」令一些信徒不禁想到：與未信主的男性結婚是否也未嘗不可呢﹖紐約救贖主長老教會的（Redeemer Presbyterian Church）蒂姆•凱勒牧師的師母凱西引用《聖經》經文指出：「基督徒與非基督徒結婚是行不通的。」
凱西師母經常要幫助會友處理信徒與不信者婚姻關係的問題。《聖經》教導「信與不信，不應同負一軛」凱西說當某個信徒的心已經屬於不信的人，那麼要他去實踐聖經裡面教導的一些不可妥協的原則就加倍困難了。
她分析了與不信之人結婚將帶來的三種可能的結果，但是沒有一個是幸福的。第一是為了和配偶在生活上保持協調，基督徒在婚姻中不得不把耶穌放在自己生命的次要位置，這將影響著原來敬虔的生活、十一奉獻、撫養孩子以及和其他信徒的交通。
第二種可能的結果恰好相反。假如信主一方堅持保持健康的信仰生活，那麼對方變相就會受到排斥和冷落，比如不能一起靈修、參與團契生活及各種相關信仰的活動。
最後一種是其中一方做出妥協，但結果很可能帶來婚姻的決裂，因為然有一方「認輸」，但是那只會讓雙方的心更加孤單或受委屈。而當這種壓力達到一個極限時，會來到感情破裂。
凱西的「不對等的負扼」所指的不僅是信與不信者的結合，還包括真正的基督徒欲與屬靈生命仍極不成熟，即雙方信仰成熟程度差距太大的二人的結合。她認為對於這些「不對等婚姻」，最好的牧養方法是多聽他們心聲，體會他們因悖逆上帝的教導而造成的痛苦，並邀請他們接受針對性的專業輔導。
人們經常誤以為在婚姻中可以改變對方，但婚姻輔導師、同時是《Marriage for Today: A Practical Guide for Couples》的作者麥克•福克斯（Mike Fox）指出：這種「改變」不僅指性格和情感上、也適用在屬靈生命上。如果以「改變對方的屬靈情況」為結婚的理由，結果只會事與願違。他提醒基督徒「決不要帶著結婚後改變對方的想法步入婚姻殿堂。」
婚姻輔導牧者：信與不信者不可能「同負一軛」
女多男少是不少教會的事實，而大量「剩女」令一些信徒不禁想到：與未信主的男性結婚是否也未嘗不可呢﹖紐約救贖主長老教會的（Redeemer Presbyterian Church）蒂姆•凱勒牧師的師母凱西引用《聖經》經文指出：「基督徒與非基督徒結婚是行不通的。」
凱西師母經常要幫助會友處理信徒與不信者婚姻關係的問題。《聖經》教導「信與不信，不應同負一軛」凱西說當某個信徒的心已經屬於不信的人，那麼要他去實踐聖經裡面教導的一些不可妥協的原則就加倍困難了。
她分析了與不信之人結婚將帶來的三種可能的結果，但是沒有一個是幸福的。第一是為了和配偶在生活上保持協調，基督徒在婚姻中不得不把耶穌放在自己生命的次要位置，這將影響著原來敬虔的生活、十一奉獻、撫養孩子以及和其他信徒的交通。
第二種可能的結果恰好相反。假如信主一方堅持保持健康的信仰生活，那麼對方變相就會受到排斥和冷落，比如不能一起靈修、參與團契生活及各種相關信仰的活動。
最後一種是其中一方做出妥協，但結果很可能帶來婚姻的決裂，因為然有一方「認輸」，但是那只會讓雙方的心更加孤單或受委屈。而當這種壓力達到一個極限時，會來到感情破裂。
凱西的「不對等的負扼」所指的不僅是信與不信者的結合，還包括真正的基督徒欲與屬靈生命仍極不成熟，即雙方信仰成熟程度差距太大的二人的結合。她認為對於這些「不對等婚姻」，最好的牧養方法是多聽他們心聲，體會他們因悖逆上帝的教導而造成的痛苦，並邀請他們接受針對性的專業輔導。
人們經常誤以為在婚姻中可以改變對方，但婚姻輔導師、同時是《Marriage for Today: A Practical Guide for Couples》的作者麥克•福克斯（Mike Fox）指出：這種「改變」不僅指性格和情感上、也適用在屬靈生命上。如果以「改變對方的屬靈情況」為結婚的理由，結果只會事與願違。他提醒基督徒「決不要帶著結婚後改變對方的想法步入婚姻殿堂。」
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Loyalty
SUNDIN SAYS HIS LOYALTY WAS BOTH STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS
"My strength and maybe my weakness is that I'm a loyal guy," the former Leafs captain said Friday. "I felt that you spend so much time in an organization and in Toronto, I always saw myself winning the Stanley Cup in Toronto.
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Still, he was never interested in being a rental player just for the chance win a Cup with another team.
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"When you're 22 or 23, it's about winning the championship," he said. "As you grow older you enjoy the journey, the travel and the grind of getting together a group of guys in the fall and build up to a goal in the spring. (That) was the thing that was great, the long-term commitment."
"My strength and maybe my weakness is that I'm a loyal guy," the former Leafs captain said Friday. "I felt that you spend so much time in an organization and in Toronto, I always saw myself winning the Stanley Cup in Toronto.
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Still, he was never interested in being a rental player just for the chance win a Cup with another team.
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"When you're 22 or 23, it's about winning the championship," he said. "As you grow older you enjoy the journey, the travel and the grind of getting together a group of guys in the fall and build up to a goal in the spring. (That) was the thing that was great, the long-term commitment."
Saturday, December 31, 2011
政治正確的聖誕節
iQuest 格思
政治正確的聖誕節 (2011年12月25日)
楊思言
自由撰稿人
普天同慶的日子，公司收到以百計的祝賀電郵。本來這些電郵差不多都是千篇一律，但今天收到從獅子山學會的聖誕祝賀，足以令我整天都啼笑皆非。電郵其實是抄自一個在網上流傳的笑話，是要表達一個所謂「政治正確」的聖誕祝賀（當然，他們認為「聖誕」二字是政治不正確，應該是「假日」才對的）。
因該電郵沒有提供中文版本（這又是政治正確的嗎？），我在此盡量為大家提供一個譯本︰「本人希望向友人和同僚發出假日的祝賀，但今時今日已很難在不冒犯任何人的情況下發出祝賀的。所以我昨天找來了律師，得到其此意見後，以下是我想說的話︰
請容許我不論明顯或暗示地，表達一個具環保意識、社會責任、不構成壓力、病癮、並且性別中立的冬季假日祝賀，經由你所選擇的宗教或世俗傳統去實踐，同時也帶著對別人不去實踐任何宗教或世俗傳統的尊重。
我祝願你在被廣泛接納的年曆的2012年，財源廣進、實現個人理想、無病無痛，但這並不代表對其他年曆的不尊重，抑或不尊重那些選擇使用其他年曆的社會人士，他們對我們的城市有著莫大的貢獻（也不是指我們的城市比其他城市偉大），同時也不問被祝賀者的種族、信念、膚色、年齡、身體狀況、宗教信仰或性取向。
在此致沒有偏見的慰問。
因保障私隱的緣故在此隱藏了祝賀者的姓名」
當然，電郵還未完結，之後還繫著一連串不易看懂的免責細字條款。於是我花了一點時間才讀完整個假日祝賀。
先不說獅子山學會向港人發電郵卻不提供中文版本，又何以是政治正確的問題。果然，文中只寫了不問被祝賀者的種族、信念、膚色…等，但當中並不包括語言。若你看不懂英語，不好意思，沒有你的份兒。相反，《聖經》記載那被認為是政治不正確的聖誕故事，已被翻譯成一千二百多個語言，甚至失明人士用的凸字和給文盲或失聰人士的各種媒體，也有兒童版聖經。早期教會為了讓文盲的民眾能明白《聖經》故事，將故事轉成圖像放在教堂的四周。過往也有不少宣教士冒著生命危險將《聖經》帶入未發展國家和被世界遺忘的少數民族當中。
對不起，似乎宣揚聖誕節的故事才是政治正確的，起碼全球多個語言都有記載聖誕故事的《聖經》。
對了，是誰決定什麼是政治正確，什麼不是呢？噢，這電郵已告訴我們，是一位律師，一位大概是中產的專業人士。所以文中也沒有提到不問被祝賀者的學歷和專業知識，因為讀者也需具備一定的知識才會明白電郵在說什麼，或所謂「政治正確」是什麼。我們這些既非中產又非專業的人真哀哉，連慶祝節日也要聽取專業意見。本來喜氣洋洋的「聖誕快樂」，連三歲小孩也能聽得明白，但現在要專業人士研究一番什麼是「政治正確」，真是難為了他們。
《聖經》記載聖誕的訊息首先向野地的牧羊人宣講，再由他們傳開，而他們是沒有社會地位沒有學問的人。牧羊人和律師，似乎宣揚那由牧羊人傳開、不問學歷的聖誕故事才更政治正確。
再者，根據電郵的內容，我們中國人的傳統節日，例如農曆新年和中秋節等，大概也是「政治不正確」吧。請留意，本來只有「聖誕」兩字是「政治不正確」的，但現在連「節日」也被抹煞了，只有「冬季」。我們也很難明白究竟「冬季」有什麼值得慶祝的，或為什麼春、夏、秋季時你又不傳來Season’s Greetings。
春夏秋冬，週而復始，沒有任何值得慶祝的事情，人生真苦悶，還祝賀什麼，不如互相慰問算了！況且，任何因「聖誕快樂」而感到冒犯的人，大概就是覺得聖誕節不是一個特別的日子，如此類推應用在所有節日上，大家不如一年365天如常上班好了。
無論如何，若你想一年裡有個值得慶祝的日子，值得放假的日子，這裡有一個藉口︰「因今天在大衛的城裡，為你們生了救主，就是主基督。」（《聖經》）
政治正確的聖誕節 (2011年12月25日)
楊思言
自由撰稿人
因該電郵沒有提供中文版本（這又是政治正確的嗎？），我在此盡量為大家提供一個譯本︰「本人希望向友人和同僚發出假日的祝賀，但今時今日已很難在不冒犯任何人的情況下發出祝賀的。所以我昨天找來了律師，得到其此意見後，以下是我想說的話︰
請容許我不論明顯或暗示地，表達一個具環保意識、社會責任、不構成壓力、病癮、並且性別中立的冬季假日祝賀，經由你所選擇的宗教或世俗傳統去實踐，同時也帶著對別人不去實踐任何宗教或世俗傳統的尊重。
我祝願你在被廣泛接納的年曆的2012年，財源廣進、實現個人理想、無病無痛，但這並不代表對其他年曆的不尊重，抑或不尊重那些選擇使用其他年曆的社會人士，他們對我們的城市有著莫大的貢獻（也不是指我們的城市比其他城市偉大），同時也不問被祝賀者的種族、信念、膚色、年齡、身體狀況、宗教信仰或性取向。
在此致沒有偏見的慰問。
因保障私隱的緣故在此隱藏了祝賀者的姓名」
當然，電郵還未完結，之後還繫著一連串不易看懂的免責細字條款。於是我花了一點時間才讀完整個假日祝賀。
先不說獅子山學會向港人發電郵卻不提供中文版本，又何以是政治正確的問題。果然，文中只寫了不問被祝賀者的種族、信念、膚色…等，但當中並不包括語言。若你看不懂英語，不好意思，沒有你的份兒。相反，《聖經》記載那被認為是政治不正確的聖誕故事，已被翻譯成一千二百多個語言，甚至失明人士用的凸字和給文盲或失聰人士的各種媒體，也有兒童版聖經。早期教會為了讓文盲的民眾能明白《聖經》故事，將故事轉成圖像放在教堂的四周。過往也有不少宣教士冒著生命危險將《聖經》帶入未發展國家和被世界遺忘的少數民族當中。
對不起，似乎宣揚聖誕節的故事才是政治正確的，起碼全球多個語言都有記載聖誕故事的《聖經》。
對了，是誰決定什麼是政治正確，什麼不是呢？噢，這電郵已告訴我們，是一位律師，一位大概是中產的專業人士。所以文中也沒有提到不問被祝賀者的學歷和專業知識，因為讀者也需具備一定的知識才會明白電郵在說什麼，或所謂「政治正確」是什麼。我們這些既非中產又非專業的人真哀哉，連慶祝節日也要聽取專業意見。本來喜氣洋洋的「聖誕快樂」，連三歲小孩也能聽得明白，但現在要專業人士研究一番什麼是「政治正確」，真是難為了他們。
《聖經》記載聖誕的訊息首先向野地的牧羊人宣講，再由他們傳開，而他們是沒有社會地位沒有學問的人。牧羊人和律師，似乎宣揚那由牧羊人傳開、不問學歷的聖誕故事才更政治正確。
再者，根據電郵的內容，我們中國人的傳統節日，例如農曆新年和中秋節等，大概也是「政治不正確」吧。請留意，本來只有「聖誕」兩字是「政治不正確」的，但現在連「節日」也被抹煞了，只有「冬季」。我們也很難明白究竟「冬季」有什麼值得慶祝的，或為什麼春、夏、秋季時你又不傳來Season’s Greetings。
春夏秋冬，週而復始，沒有任何值得慶祝的事情，人生真苦悶，還祝賀什麼，不如互相慰問算了！況且，任何因「聖誕快樂」而感到冒犯的人，大概就是覺得聖誕節不是一個特別的日子，如此類推應用在所有節日上，大家不如一年365天如常上班好了。
無論如何，若你想一年裡有個值得慶祝的日子，值得放假的日子，這裡有一個藉口︰「因今天在大衛的城裡，為你們生了救主，就是主基督。」（《聖經》）
Sunday, December 18, 2011
格思有票、無票，投票、不投票，That’s the question！
iQuest 格思
有票、無票，投票、不投票，That’s the question！ (2011年12月15日)
郭偉聯
建道神學院神學系助理教授
專欄：政見相對論
早前有教友在Facebook問我：「CY與唐唐，究竟你會揀邊個？」我在網上看到後，沒有想多幾秒，便回了一句：「哈哈，我都無票，揀邊個都無用！」可是，不久便有精明的朋友提醒我：「你是有票的，最少你可以投票選基督教選委。」我「嘿嘿」了兩聲，靦覥地說：「是呢，我沒有盡公民責任呢。」但轉過頭便在心裡罵：「選舉選委，選黎把鬼！」我心裡咕嚕說看不到自己的一票的作用，也不想自己的一票起作用！但思緒不久便陷入佛洛依德式的本我（id）與超我（superego）鬥爭中：我不想投票？不想假民主？我政治冷感？vs.我要投神聖的一票？我沒有盡責？
為什麼原本是文明社會一個不太複雜的動作，會變成複雜的心理鬥爭？當然可能與我的精神狀態或心理發展失調有關，但我發現原來失調的不只我一個，因為基督教的選委選舉，自籌備時已喧喧嚷嚷，究竟是協商還是投票？究竟投票是關心社會？是支持自己人？是搞場？是反映特首選舉不公義？是推進普選？是支持民主派參選特首？是愛國愛港？還是「識諗」的就「唔會想理」？神學上要做另類群體？抑或要大搞公共神學？這些議論全都在我們中間出現過。究竟to do or not to do？
我們的矛盾與紛紜，其中一個原因是政治格局處於「半杯水」狀態。我們看到現在特首選舉不理想的地方，但究竟自絕於這場「遊戲/做戲」，或用「鬧劇」的手法拆穿這場戲，還是積極在不理想中尋求理想，推進理想，這可以有不同的想法。我們對中央政府「心被恩感」、看到「形勢大好」，所以要「愛國愛港」，還是看到國家很多欺壓、貪腐、造假、不民主、不公義，都會影響我們對這場選舉的想法。
不過，既然是「半杯水」，因此所有一面倒的想法都可以令人從心底裡反彈。這是為什麼我們看到有人大說愛國愛港時會起疙瘩，有人說要顯露別人的醜惡虛偽時，我們不覺得他們的諧謔大快人心。亦因為是半杯水，「不落一邊」的人似乎有著雞肋情意結，做得有氣無力，有形無神。我們的選舉籌備是業餘參政，看不到想要推動民主的候選人有積極在教會裡組織選舉工程，其他小民如我等則是愛理不理。
在半杯水的時候，我們應如何自處？若我是那些認同國家，欣賞政府的人，讓我記起舊約聖經中的阿摩司書，先知阿摩司提醒國運正隆的以色列國，他們國家有很多不公義的事，國家再這樣是不能持續下去，最終必會衰敗——可惜以色列人只看到自己很有能力，而他們的成功便是能力的證明。求上主也提醒我不要做斥責阿摩司的阿瑪謝，將一切批評在位者的看為混飯吃的人，而忘記自己也在混飯吃（有誰不用「搵食」呢？）。若我是用嬉笑怒罵表現建制荒謬的人，求上主使我記起主耶穌也曾搗亂廟堂（聖殿），也曾叫人覺得祂瘋瘋癲癲，可是祂沒有只是怪形怪相、犬儒一番便收工，而是呼召門徒，教導他們，示範祂的生活哲學，甚至為祂的百姓而犧牲。若我是懷著理想卻好像一籌莫展的，我要記著使徒保羅的教訓：我們行善，不可喪志；若不灰心，到了時候就要收成。若我覺得自己是一介小民，不想去理，求上主叫我為在位的「懇求、禱告、代求、祝謝」，因為在懇求禱告中，我不會只是獨善其身，而是期待及思考真善美。也因著禱告，提示及反省自己有沒有行出真善美。
在半杯水狀態中，一個行動可以有不同解讀。阿摩司被阿瑪謝看為是「搞事鬼」，但教會傳統裡卻看到他擇善固執、挺身而出。羅馬政權當時多有不仁， 但保羅卻叫教會為政府祈禱求平安。或許，不是我們做什麼重要，而是我們是一個怎樣的人，讓其他人評價我們是誰才重要。
上主，我在你面前承認，我不投票，因為我逃避，也不想理會，求你幫助，加我力量，讓我對社會有多一點關懷。
除了to do, not to do 之外，或許to be, not to be才是我們更需要面對的問題。
有票、無票，投票、不投票，That’s the question！ (2011年12月15日)
郭偉聯
建道神學院神學系助理教授
專欄：政見相對論
早前有教友在Facebook問我：「CY與唐唐，究竟你會揀邊個？」我在網上看到後，沒有想多幾秒，便回了一句：「哈哈，我都無票，揀邊個都無用！」可是，不久便有精明的朋友提醒我：「你是有票的，最少你可以投票選基督教選委。」我「嘿嘿」了兩聲，靦覥地說：「是呢，我沒有盡公民責任呢。」但轉過頭便在心裡罵：「選舉選委，選黎把鬼！」我心裡咕嚕說看不到自己的一票的作用，也不想自己的一票起作用！但思緒不久便陷入佛洛依德式的本我（id）與超我（superego）鬥爭中：我不想投票？不想假民主？我政治冷感？vs.我要投神聖的一票？我沒有盡責？
為什麼原本是文明社會一個不太複雜的動作，會變成複雜的心理鬥爭？當然可能與我的精神狀態或心理發展失調有關，但我發現原來失調的不只我一個，因為基督教的選委選舉，自籌備時已喧喧嚷嚷，究竟是協商還是投票？究竟投票是關心社會？是支持自己人？是搞場？是反映特首選舉不公義？是推進普選？是支持民主派參選特首？是愛國愛港？還是「識諗」的就「唔會想理」？神學上要做另類群體？抑或要大搞公共神學？這些議論全都在我們中間出現過。究竟to do or not to do？
我們的矛盾與紛紜，其中一個原因是政治格局處於「半杯水」狀態。我們看到現在特首選舉不理想的地方，但究竟自絕於這場「遊戲/做戲」，或用「鬧劇」的手法拆穿這場戲，還是積極在不理想中尋求理想，推進理想，這可以有不同的想法。我們對中央政府「心被恩感」、看到「形勢大好」，所以要「愛國愛港」，還是看到國家很多欺壓、貪腐、造假、不民主、不公義，都會影響我們對這場選舉的想法。
不過，既然是「半杯水」，因此所有一面倒的想法都可以令人從心底裡反彈。這是為什麼我們看到有人大說愛國愛港時會起疙瘩，有人說要顯露別人的醜惡虛偽時，我們不覺得他們的諧謔大快人心。亦因為是半杯水，「不落一邊」的人似乎有著雞肋情意結，做得有氣無力，有形無神。我們的選舉籌備是業餘參政，看不到想要推動民主的候選人有積極在教會裡組織選舉工程，其他小民如我等則是愛理不理。
在半杯水的時候，我們應如何自處？若我是那些認同國家，欣賞政府的人，讓我記起舊約聖經中的阿摩司書，先知阿摩司提醒國運正隆的以色列國，他們國家有很多不公義的事，國家再這樣是不能持續下去，最終必會衰敗——可惜以色列人只看到自己很有能力，而他們的成功便是能力的證明。求上主也提醒我不要做斥責阿摩司的阿瑪謝，將一切批評在位者的看為混飯吃的人，而忘記自己也在混飯吃（有誰不用「搵食」呢？）。若我是用嬉笑怒罵表現建制荒謬的人，求上主使我記起主耶穌也曾搗亂廟堂（聖殿），也曾叫人覺得祂瘋瘋癲癲，可是祂沒有只是怪形怪相、犬儒一番便收工，而是呼召門徒，教導他們，示範祂的生活哲學，甚至為祂的百姓而犧牲。若我是懷著理想卻好像一籌莫展的，我要記著使徒保羅的教訓：我們行善，不可喪志；若不灰心，到了時候就要收成。若我覺得自己是一介小民，不想去理，求上主叫我為在位的「懇求、禱告、代求、祝謝」，因為在懇求禱告中，我不會只是獨善其身，而是期待及思考真善美。也因著禱告，提示及反省自己有沒有行出真善美。
在半杯水狀態中，一個行動可以有不同解讀。阿摩司被阿瑪謝看為是「搞事鬼」，但教會傳統裡卻看到他擇善固執、挺身而出。羅馬政權當時多有不仁， 但保羅卻叫教會為政府祈禱求平安。或許，不是我們做什麼重要，而是我們是一個怎樣的人，讓其他人評價我們是誰才重要。
上主，我在你面前承認，我不投票，因為我逃避，也不想理會，求你幫助，加我力量，讓我對社會有多一點關懷。
除了to do, not to do 之外，或許to be, not to be才是我們更需要面對的問題。
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
沈祖堯 ﹕我對畢業同學的臨別贈言
【明報專訊】編按：本文是香港中文大學校長沈祖堯教授2011年12月1日（上周四）於中大頒授學位典禮對畢業同學的臨別贈言。
今天早上我翻閱了畢業禮的典禮程序。當我見到畢業生名冊上你們的名字，我按手其上，低頭為你們每一位禱告。
我祈求你們離校後，都能過着「不負此生」的生活。你們或會問，怎樣才算是「不負此生」的生活呢？
儉樸地生活
首先，我希望你們能儉樸地生活。在過去的三至五年間，大家完成了大學各項課程，以真才實學和專業知識好好的裝備了自己。我肯定大家都能學以致用，前程錦繡。但容我提醒各位一句：快樂與金錢和物質的豐盛並無必然關係。一個温馨的家、簡單的衣著、健康的飲食，就是樂之所在。漫無止境的追求奢華，遠不如儉樸生活那樣能帶給你幸福和快樂。
高尚的生活
其次，我希望你們能過高尚的生活。我們的社會有很多陰暗面：不公、剝削、詐騙等等。我籲請大家為了母校的聲譽，務必要莊敬自強，公平待人，不可欺侮弱勢的人，也不可以做損及他人或自己的事。高尚的生活是對一己的良知無悔，維護公義，事事均以道德為依歸。這樣高尚地過活，你們必有所得。
謙卑的生活
其三，是我希望你們能過謙卑的生活。我們要有服務他人的謙卑心懷，時刻不忘為社會、國家以至全人類出力。一個謙卑的人並不固執己見，而是會虛懷若谷地聆聽他人的言論。偉大的人物也不整天仰望山巔，他亦會蹲下來為他的弟兄濯足。
假如你擁有高尚的情操、過着儉樸的生活、並且存謙卑的心，那麼你的生活必會非常充實。你會是個愛家庭、重朋友，而且關心自己健康的人。你不會着意於社會能給你什麼，但會十分重視你能為社會出什麼力。
我相信一所大學的價值，不能用畢業生的工資來判斷。更不能以他們開的汽車、住的房子來作準，而是應以它的學生在畢業後對社會、對人類的影響為依歸。所以，諸位畢業會成為我校的代表。做個令我們驕傲的「中大人」罷！
各位畢業同學，在我的心目中大家都是我的兒女。當我誦唸你們的名字時，我默禱你們都能不負此生。
十個沒有大學文憑的知名企業執行長
十個沒有大學文憑的知名企業執行長
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| 不要以為非得要有大學文憑才能當上公司執行長，因為許多知名的執行長是沒有大學文憑的。他們沒有讀完大學，或者根本沒有進大學，就進入社會，掙下了一片天空，也讓其所服務的企業以及個人的名聲如日中天。 當然這不代表大學文憑沒有用，有更多的優秀執行長乃是系出名門，只是世事無絕對， 從電腦到郵輪， CNBC 所選出的十位企業執行長是沒有大學文憑（Biggest Businesses Run By College Dropouts）的代表，而這中間也包括了微軟創辦人 Bill Gates 與蘋果執行長 Steve Jobs 在內。 以下就是這十位沒有大學文憑的知名企業創辦人與執行長，按照企業現值從小到大依序排列： 10. Alfred Taubman ，為從事零售物業投資信託、專注在投資標的為地方性購物中心、大型區域性購物中心的 Taubman Centers 創辦人。公司市值 33 億美元。 9. Richard Schultz ，美國零售巨擘 Best Buy 創辦人暨前執行長。 Best Buy 在墨西哥、 加拿大、土耳其、中國和英國也設有分公司。全球共有超過一千家門市。目前公司市值 101 億美元。 8. Ralph Lauren ，全球重量級服裝品牌 Polo Ralph Lauren 的創辦人兼執行長；總部位於美國紐約的 Polo Ralph Lauren 自 1967 年創設以來，便引領服飾流行與趨勢風騷。早年主要以馬球男裝為主產品線，後來也轉經營女裝、運動服、皮飾品、配件、香水甚至於家飾品等。現公司市值 119 億美元。 7. Richard Branson ，知名郵購零售商維珍集團（Virgin Group）創辦人兼執行長，集團旗下公司包括了維珍航空、維珍鐵路、維珍電訊、維珍可樂、維珍能源、維珍唱片，以及維珍金融服務等。集團總值 180 億美元。 Branson 本身酷愛冒險，曾多次創下冒險記錄。 6. Micky Arison ，嘉年華 Carnival 郵輪公司執行長，該公司有將近百艘郵輪，分別屬於 11 個不同品牌，以各式各樣的航線服務喜歡搭乘郵輪的旅客。公司市值 196 億美元。 5. Michael Dell ，戴爾 Dell 的創辦人兼執行長。當年在美國德州大學奧斯汀分校讀書的 Dell ，發現將電腦按照客戶需求來直銷十分可行，於是就以 1000 美元創設 Dell 公司，在十年後公司營業額已超過 20 億美元。公司市值 300 億美元。 4. Mark Zuckerberg ，知名社交網站 Facebook 創辦人兼執行長。 2004 年，在美國哈佛大學就讀期間， Zuckerberg 與其他三位同學共同成立 Facebook ，迅速竄起。 2010 年 Zuckerberg 被《時代雜誌》遴選為「2010 年年度風雲人物」。公司市值為 1000 億美元。 3. Paul Allen ，微軟 Microsoft 的聯合創辦人，於 1983 年因罹患霍奇金氏淋巴瘤而離職。 Allen 目前仍為微軟大股東。公司市值 2262 億美元。 2. Bill Gates ，與 Paul Allen 共同創辦微軟 Microsoft ，也是前任執行長。在 1995 年到 2007 年， Gates 曾經連續 13 年蟬聯《富比士》全球億萬富翁排行榜。公司市值 2262 億美元。 1. Steve Jobs ，蘋果公司聯合創辦人兼執行長，年輕時只在美國波特蘭的里德學院 Reed College 讀了一學期就因財務狀況而休學，隨後與 Steve Wozniak 在自家車庫製造 Apple I ，隨後創辦蘋果電腦；後面的故事就不多說了。目前公司市值 3624 億美元。 |
Biggest businesses run by college dropouts
Biggest businesses run by college dropouts
By Kaitlyn Bigica | CNBC – Tue, 16 Aug, 2011 11:02 AM EDT
Ever wonder where the chief executives of some of the world's most successful companies went to college? Well, don't tell your kids, but some CEOs never graduated college—and some never even bothered to apply.
From computers to cruise lines, these CEOs made it to the top without a college degree and defied the idea that to be successful you have to have a diploma.
Ralph Lauren
Photo: Emmanuel Dunand | AFP | Getty Images
Position: CEO, Polo Ralph Lauren
Market Cap: $11.9 billion
Market Cap: $11.9 billion
Ralph Lauren, the chief executive of Polo Ralph Lauren , established his company in 1967 as a line of men's ties and developed the company into a global fashion empire. Lauren's successful clothing line came from his unique, classic style that went against conventional fashion of the time.
According to the Ralph Lauren website, Lauren said, "I never went to fashion school—I was a young guy who had some style. I never imagined Polo would become what it is. I just followed my instincts."
With only a high school diploma in hand, Lauren followed his instincts. His decision to ditch college and focus on running his business led to a series of breakthroughs in the fashion world, including the first shop-within-a-shop designer boutique for men in Bloomingdale's department store in 1969. Lauren continued to build his empire, expanding it to include women and children's fashion, fragrances, and home furnishings.
Today, Polo Ralph Lauren is one of the most successful fashion companies in the world.
Richard Branson
 Photo: Karim Jaafar | AFP | Getty Images |
Position: CEO, Virgin Group
Company Worth: $18 billion
Virgin Media Market Cap: $8.1 billion
Company Worth: $18 billion
Virgin Media Market Cap: $8.1 billion
Forget graduating from college, this chief executive didn't even finish high school. Richard Branson, the current CEO of Virgin Group , dropped out of high school at age 16 to start Student Magazine. Four years later, Branson founded Virgin Group as a mail-order retailer. He opened his first record shop in London and two years later built Virgin's first recording studio. In 1977, Branson signed his first big name group, the Sex Pistols, and continued to sign popular artists such as the Rolling Stones and Culture Club.
In 1984, Branson developed Virgin Atlantic and the brand began to grow. Today, Virgin Group provides mobile, broadband, TV, radio, finance, health, tourism, leisure, and travel services.
Michael Dell
 Photo: Justin Sullivan | Getty Images |
Position: Founder/CEO, Dell
Market Cap: $30 billion
Market Cap: $30 billion
Most 19-year olds would spend a thousand dollars on a spring break weekend, or a put it toward buying a new car, but Michael Dell spent his $1,000 founding Dell.
The founder and CEO of Dell expanded his company with the idea that "technology is about enabling human potential." In 1992, he became the youngest chief executive to earn a ranking on Fortune magazine's "Fortune 500" list. His staff also grew from a one-man operation to 100,000 employees in just eight years.
Today, the company provides information-technology services for global corporations, governments, health care providers, small and medium businesses, education institutions, and home computing users.
Dell is not the only company this CEO has had a hand in creating. Dell founded MSD Capital in 1998 and a year later launched the Michael and Susan Dell Foundation, a philanthropic organization for global issues.
Bill Gates
 Photo: Sean Gallup | Getty Images |
Position: Co-Founder/Chairman, Microsoft
Market Cap: $226.2 billion
Market Cap: $226.2 billion
College dropouts such as Mark Zuckerberg and Dustin Moskovitz are not the only successful business founders who attended, and then left, Harvard University.
Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft , enrolled at Harvard as a freshman in 1973. Gates, who lived down the hall from Microsoft's current chief executive, Steve Ballmer, created BASIC, a programming language for the first microcomputer, during his first year of college.
Gates dropped out of Harvard in his junior year to concentrate all his efforts on a company he called Micro-soft with his childhood friend Paul Allen.
As if founding Microsoft wasn't enough, Gates went on to found Corbis , one of the world largest resources of visual information. He also earned a seat on the board of directors for Berkshire Hathaway, an investment company engaged in diverse business activity.
Today, Gates serves as Microsoft's chairman and as an adviser on key development projects.
Steve Jobs
 Photo: David Paul Morris | Getty Images |
Position: Founder/CEO, Apple
Market Cap: $362.4 billion
Market Cap: $362.4 billion
As a young boy, this college dropout showed an early interest in computers.
When he was 12, Steve Jobs, the chief executive of Apple, called Bill Hewlett, co-founder of Hewlett Packard , after finding his number in the phonebook. When Hewlett answered, Jobs said, "Hi I'm Steve Jobs. I'm 12-years old and I'm a student in high school. I want to make a frequency counter. I was wondering if you had any spare parts I can have?"
Hewlett gave Jobs the spare parts and hired him that summer to work on the assembly line at his company. During this time, Jobs formed a friendship with Stephen Wozniak, a soon-to-be dropout from the University of California at Berkley.
Jobs enrolled at Reed College after high school, but he later dropped out. He connected once again with Wozniak and the pair quit their jobs to start production on a computer in Jobs' garage.
There are different versions of how the pair came up with the name for Apple. The best-known story comes from Jobs summer spent working on an apple orchard and his love for the fruit. The bite in the side of the apple is said to be a play on the computer term "byte."
In a biography, Jobs said he was worth more than $1 million when he was 23, $10 million when he was 24, and $100 million when he was 25.
Apple went from a garage-based operation to a multibillion-dollar, worldwide corporation, and it all started with two college dropouts tinkering in a garage.
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