Friday, May 27, 2011

"To err is human; to forgive, divine."

(From TSN, http://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=367030 )
KERRY FRASER
5/27/2011 10:41:34 AM

Today marks the 18th anniversary of Game 6 of the Campbell Conference Final between the Los Angeles Kings and Toronto Maple Leafs. We all know what happened in that game and not a day goes by that a member of the TSN.ca community reminds Kerry about it (some of them nice, most of them not so nice) at cmonref@tsn.ca. So on this day, Kerry responds...


Kerry,

Do you remember what happened 18 years ago today? Have you cleared your mind of it since or do you carry it around with you like luggage?

Joe, Halifax

-----

Kerry,

Can you go one day without someone mentioning the Gilmour-Gretzky incident to you?

Cory Maas, Toronto

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Hey Kerry,

What can you say to me to make me stop hating your guts after the missed high stick in 93? You cost us the Cup because everyone knows we would have whupped the Habs!

Andrew, Toronto

-----

Hi Kerry,

Did Gilmour or Gretzky ever talk to you/confront you about you know what back in 1993? Is it a taboo subject?

Stephen Anderson - Oakville, Ontario



No official wants to make or miss a call that has an impact on a game or a series. It becomes a bitter pill to swallow.

On the 18th anniversary of the infamous "Missed Call," for many a Toronto Maple Leafs fan, the bitterness has never subsided.

Every year, right up to my final season as a referee in the NHL I was contacted by the media on this day and asked to rehash the play. They always ran with it and feelings were dredged up from old wounds that have never healed; especially from those that harbour hatred towards me. I devoted an entire chapter in my book (coming out in updated paperback and e-book versions this fall - nice plug!), "The Final Call" entitled, "The Missed Call" and put it all out there; including a sincere apology to Leafs fans everywhere for not having seen the play.

My dear wife, Kathy has always told us (our seven children and I) that feelings exist. They are real and for the person who holds onto them there is no right or wrong; just that they exist. I have never avoided the subject when asked and today won't be any different. I will respond to your questions and accept that your feelings exist as another anniversary passes.

Yes, Joe in Halifax, I do remember those aching feelings well. The helplessness of not knowing for sure what had just occurred as Doug Gilmour dabbed blood from his chin and prevented it from staining the Fabulous Forum ice lingers in my memory. While I don't carry it with me like "luggage," the baggage that many a Leafs fan continually pack, makes it impossible for the memory to ever go away. After all it was only 18 short years ago! Perhaps more time is required to close the wound?

Cory in Toronto, I live in New Jersey and nobody south of the 49th Parallel is really affected by this. Many events have occurred for me since that night in Los Angeles, both professionally and personally.

I worked several Stanley Cup Finals; the World Cup of Hockey; the Winter Olympics in Nagano; the 2000 All Star Game in Toronto; the Winter Classic in Boston's Fenway Park to mention a few in a record setting career.

On a personal level, I buried my father in 2001 - the same father that chased a Leafs fan from Kitchener up the street with an axe in the wee hours of the morning after the game in '93. The uninvited assailant drove away in haste after continually ramming into Dad's mini-motor home parked in the driveway of his Sarnia home. (Kitchener is close to a two-hour drive from Sarnia in Southern Ontario.) My mother has retired the referee whistle that hung on a skate lace by her telephone at the ready to blow into the phone whenever terribly obscene phone calls were received at their home.

We have witnessed our children's graduation from high school and university. Kathy and I shared in the joy at weddings for three of our children to this point, along with the current engagement of two others. We have been blessed with five beautiful grandchildren years after the missed call. Life is not static unless we chose it to be and mine has continually moved forward.

That being said, when I was in Toronto at the TSN studios for the first month of the Stanley Cup Playoffs every day someone would recognize me and ask me about '93. The supervising producer who coordinates the website at TSN sifts through all your questions and provides me with the ones I answer in this column. He tells me there is at least one a day on the Gretzky-Gilmour subject. In some camps the very mention of my name causes vitriol unlike no other.

Stephen Anderson in Oakville, I did speak to Doug Gilmour about the missed call in a telephone conversation he and I had last summer. It was most cordial, even friendly as we shared stories and different perspectives from our long careers. Doug Gilmour is a class act beyond being the tremendous player, captain and leader that he was throughout his career. Doug understands that plays are missed and mistakes are made by officials and players alike. In that conversation, 'Killer' shared something I have seen him state publicly in the past. Doug said, "Give me Game 7 back in my home building and I'd take it any time. We just didn't get it done."

Doug Gilmour retired as a Maple Leaf in the 2002-2003 season. During almost 10 years that we were on the ice together after May 27, 1993, I never heard Doug Gilmour reference that play with me. At no time did I ever discuss the incident with Wayne Gretzky. Why would I? Wayne knew what happened better than any of us.

And finally to all the "Andrews of Toronto" that need me to say something that might help make you "stop hating my guts." I don't really think there is much more that I can say that hasn't been already said. "I'm sorry, I missed the call, I blew it..." just don't seem to be helping you let go of it or the fact that the Leafs lost Game 7 back in Toronto.

Instead, please allow me to share with you a quote that Doug Gilmour gave to Mike Zeisberger of the Toronto Sun on the occasion of my last game worked in the Air Canada Centre on March 27, 2010. Your captain said, "Please let it go. It's over. The man's retiring. For the sake of his sanity, let it go."

If that fails Andrew, I would like to offer the wisdom of Alexander Pope (even though he didn't play for the Toronto Maple Leafs) who said, "To err is human; to forgive, divine."

Peace be with you...




Thursday, May 26, 2011

愛 ‧ Love

喜悦、张海军 20110522 中国达人秀片段



「喜悅和張海軍,這是一對非常普通的中國夫妻。視頻中所表現的是在現今這個物質為上,扭曲價值觀的世界中最平凡但是最珍貴的一段真愛!在中國擺地攤是比較難以維持生活的,喜­悅是一個平凡的女人,但是她的那一句"把愛情進行到底",我承認我被她深深的感動了!」

愛就是這樣.
This is what we call "LOVE".

"Love" is not only about "feeling"...
but its so deep that its un-describable and only the sacrifices will tell others all about it...




Wednesday, May 25, 2011

笑話的哲理值得深思

蘋果日報 副刊
笑話的哲理值得深思 - 李怡
(11.05.24-25)

網上看到幾個笑話。笑話普通,但引申的道理卻大堪咀嚼。

某夫人對建築師說每當火車經過時,她的睡床就會搖動。
「這簡直是無稽之談,」建築師回答說,「我來看看。」建築師到達後,夫人叫他躺在床上,體會一下火車經過時的感覺。建築師剛上床躺下,夫人的老公就回來了。他見此情形,便厲聲喝問:「你躺在我太太的床上幹什麼?」
建築師戰戰兢兢地回答:「我說是在等火車,你會相信嗎?」
這笑話帶出的人生道理是:有些話是真的,卻聽上去很假;有些話是假的,卻讓人毋庸置疑。

×   ×   ×

英國紳士與法國女人同乘一個火車包廂,女人想引誘這個英國人,她脫衣躺下後就抱怨身上發冷。紳士把自己的被子給了她,她還是不停地說冷。
紳士說:「我還能怎麼幫助你呢?」女人說:「我小時候媽媽總是用自己的身體給我取暖。」
「小姐,這我就愛莫能助了。我總不能跳下火車去找你的媽媽吧?」
這笑話的人生道理是:善解風情的男人是好男人,不解風情的男人更是好男人。

×   ×   ×

麥克走進餐館,點了一份湯,服務員給他端了上來。
服務員剛走開,他就嚷嚷起來:「對不起,這湯我沒法喝。」
服務員重新給他上了一個湯,他還是說:「對不起,這湯我沒法喝。」
服務員只好叫來經理。經理畢恭畢敬地朝麥克點點頭,說:「先生,這道菜是本店最拿手的,深受顧客歡迎,難道您……」
「我是說,匙羮在哪裏呢?」
人生道理是:有錯就改,當然是好事。但我們常常卻改掉正確的,留下錯誤的,結果是錯上加錯。

×   ×   ×

飯廳內,一個異常謙恭的人膽怯地碰了碰另一個顧客,那人正在穿一件大衣。
「對不起,請問您是不是皮埃爾先生?」
「不,我不是。」那人回答。
「啊,」他舒了一口氣,「那我沒弄錯,我就是他,您穿了他的大衣。」
人生道理:理直氣壯不多見。理直的人,往往謙恭;而我們看到許多理曲的人,往往反而氣壯。

×   ×   ×

有一個人去倫敦,想順便探望一位老朋友,卻忘了他的住址,於是給父親發了一份電報:「您知道托馬的住址嗎?」當天,他就收到一份回電:「知道。」
人生道理:當我們終於找到最正確的答案時,卻發現它是最無用的。

×   ×   ×

有三個人到紐約度假。他們在一座高層賓館的第 45樓訂了一個套房。一天晚上,大樓電梯出現故障,他們只好徒步走回房間,為了放鬆以減輕登樓的勞累,約定輪流說笑話、唱歌和講故事。
笑話講了,歌也唱了,好不容易爬到第 34層,大家都感覺精疲力竭。
「好吧,彼得,你來講個幽默故事吧。」
彼得說:「故事不長,卻令人傷心至極:我把房間的鑰匙留了在大廳。」
人生道理:痛苦縱不可免,幽默卻可以讓痛苦減輕,甚至轉為輕鬆一笑。

×   ×   ×

一個很有名的作家要來書店參觀。書店老闆連忙把所有的書撤下,全部換上作家的書。作家來到書店後,心裏非常高興,問道:「貴店只售本人的書嗎?」
「當然不是。」書店老闆回答,「別的書銷路很好,都賣完了。」
人生道理:「恭維」是個奇怪的詞:你像是在奉承他,又像是在侮辱他。

×   ×   ×

笑話很普通。但所引伸的人生道理卻值得深思。




Thursday, May 19, 2011

Why do powerful men cheat? Because they can - CTV News

Why do powerful men cheat? Because they can - CTV News


From Bill Clinton to Tiger Woods to countless political leaders in Europe, Arnold Schwarzenegger is just the latest in a list of married celebrities caught in a sex scandal.

And while his affair shocked many, some say with all that power and fame, it's not only predictable that a man like Schwarzenegger would cheat, but highly likely.

Toronto-based clinical psychologist, Dr. Oren Amitay, says men (and women) with power tend to have an overinflated sense of confidence that allows them to think they'll get away with bad behaviour.

"It's not intelligence that's at issue; it's judgment," Amitay told CTV's Canada AM Thursday.

"If you've gotten away for so many years with doing pretty much whatever you want to do with very few consequences, why would you change?

While Schwarzenegger had plenty to risk with his extramarital dalliances -- his marriage, his family, his career and perhaps his legacy --he had also been able to weather similar scandalous storms before.

During Schwarzenegger's campaign for California governor, as many as 15 women stepped forward to allege that the then-actor groped, spanked, or touched them inappropriately.

"And what were the consequences? Nothing," said Amitay.

"So when your needs are so important, when you place your needs above everything else, you're not really thinking of the consequences or anticipating what could happen, or feeling any anxiety around it, because that's not part of your experience."

Amitay says it's worry that prevents most of us from doing naughty things -- the worry about getting caught, the fear of the consequences, of hurting somebody. But when powerful people get away with misdeeds for so long, it's not long before they don't bother to worry at all.

"Certain personalities just don't feel anxiety," he said.

Some of these people, if they were raised with power, get used to having parents or family swoop in and protect them, Amitay says. Others like Schwarzenegger, who is more of a self-made man, probably told themselves as young men that they were going to be a certain kind of personality.

Amitay believes Schwarzenegger is likely in a lot of ways just like Tiger Woods, who risked his family and career for his sexual peccadilloes.

"They've lived their lives being told by everyone around them they're special, they're entitled. ‘You deserve whatever you want; you're that great.' And if you're being told that, why wouldn't you believe it?"





Tuesday, May 17, 2011

輸得起

(知信行 - 靈修勵語)

我輸得起,因為在基督裡沒有甚麼是輸不起的!

著名的靈修大師級人物茱莉安,在她《愛的啟示》一書中表示,神給祂所愛的人的一個煉淨生命的場所,就是失敗,而且是敗完又敗!一個人若受得起失敗,他才有基督的生命事奉神,而且,輸了之後又能爬起來的,他的生命必然煥發光彩,在主裡他充滿神的愛!換句話說,我們需要學習去輸,而且要輸得起。

失敗並不可怕,甚至它是「好東西」,因為當你走出困厄之後,就成為了一個新造的人。問題只視乎一個人「承受挫敗」的勇氣,倘若不肯認輸,他就因此牢困一世。

若人在面對困境時,能夠把自己放輕一點,目光看遠一點,把人生的意義放在神國度上多一點,就會發現人生是充滿希望的。放眼世界,即使只看見一線陽光,你會感到人生很美!在輸得起的人身上,心胸是開放闊大的。因為他常常看到神的同在。

「凡從神生的,就勝過世界;使我們勝了世界的,就是我們的信心。」(約壹五4)在新約世界中活著的眾多信徒,大部分都是活在水深火熱之中,忍受著各式各樣的逼迫困苦,然而,基督榮耀而充滿喜樂平安的生命,就在這班飽受欺壓的人身上彰顯出來的。

不過,當我執著於我的苦,就算我只失去了一塊錢,我也會覺得很苦!所以放開一點,只要生命還在,機會就還在;當你還肯祈求主的同在,那你的人生意義就出現。

失敗是一項心靈的打擊,原本擁有的鬥志都給挫敗了,這份抬不起頭來面對世界的感覺,使人無地自容。無能、羞愧、丟臉是如斯難受,我還可以作甚麼?我已經一無所有了!當我們來到這一刻,答案就出來了 我們根本就是一無所有的。看看耶穌,耶穌在客西馬尼園中,祂在軟弱時多麼坦然、多麼真實,而真實的我是不用掩藏的!

在安靜中,細細吸吮內心傷痕的痛,那是真實的我!人活得真時,人生就顯得充滿份量了。然後,在挫敗中和哭泣中,呼求主耶穌的安慰,打開胸懷,讓主耶穌進入你心內與你同哭,你會發現,原來,淚是主和你一起流的!

只要放開一點胸懷,看遠一點世界,失敗根本不重要。當人說得出:「我輸得起!」他就成長了。

我輸得起,因為在基督裡沒有甚麼是輸不起的!




Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A time for renewal

An excerpt from The Star reports (link)

Last week's electoral bloodbath has led to an existential crisis for the Liberals, who were once known as Canada's "natural governing party."

They find themselves being squeezed by the NDP on the left and the Conservatives on the right, with many suggesting it's time for the two parties to consider merging.

Both current MPs and former MPs are brushing aside merger talk and are calling for a period of renewal, saying that Canada needs a strong centralist party.

Part of that renewal is figuring out what exactly went wrong on Election Day.

Former Liberal MP Gerard Kennedy said the party is "humbled by the election . . . and the parties that did better.

"There's a yearning there we didn't capture and the NDP did for the present moment," he told CTV's Power Play.

He suggested the party did not put enough "solutions out there for specific issues" during the campaign.

Brison, a Nova Scotia MP, said the party needs a hard look at policy, something it didn't do after the last leadership race in 2006.

He said the Liberals need to re-engage with the grassroots of their party.

But Brison said that the two-year Conservative attack-ad campaign on Ignatieff can't be overlooked.

"The die was cast by two years of negative ads . . . they were very successful," he said. "He was effectively torpedoed before the campaign even began."

He said while on the campaign trail he heard many Canadians repeating some of the Conservatives attacks on Ignatieff.

Another Liberal heavyweight MP who lost his job, Mark Holland, said the party must look beyond its leader.

"It's not about quick fixes, it's not about one person who is going to paint over everything and make it OK," he told Power Play. "The Liberal Party has a choice; it either makes reforms and it changes . . . or we've got even darker days ahead of us."

John Manley, a former Liberal finance and foreign affairs minister, said the party has to get away from the "natural governing party" attitude.

"There was an attitude and voters can smell that sense of entitlement a mile away and I think the party failed to really tackle that," Manley told Power Play.

"You have to have some core beliefs and know what they are. I happen to believe there's a big piece of the centre of Canadian politics that is up for grabs and I define that centre as being economically prudent . . . but socially progressive."




Sunday, May 08, 2011

His Plan

Psalm 33:11 (NIV) 11 But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Life Application Study Bible ® Devotion

"The LORD's plans stand firm forever." Are you frustrated by inconsistencies you see in others, or even in yourself? God is completely trustworthy-his intentions never change. There is a promise that good and perfect gifts come to us from the Creator who never changes. When you wonder if there is anyone in whom you can trust, remember that God is completely consistent. Let him counsel you, and trust in his plans for your life.